Special Considerations

Progress Report

2009-08-02T22:24:00.003-05:00

That's right: progress! As in forward motion in a positive direction!

After much effort, Jackson has made progress with potty training! For the most part, he now recognizes when he needs to go "pee-pee", will indicate that to us, and will go pee-pee on the potty. This is a HUGE STEP for Jackson, and he worked so hard to get to this point. He just needed to learn what that sensation was, and it took many, many accidents and trips to the potty for him to begin to recognize that feeling. But, we're there! He's even stayed dry at night a couple of times.

As an aside, for those of you who may be thinking about potty training a special needs child and are looking for tips, I can only offer this: be willing to try several different approaches and consider throwing out any books you have on potty training a typical child. Training Jackson is NOTHING like training my typically-developing daughter. While I have used a combination of approaches, the one that seems to make the most sense for Jackson is the one referred to under the heading "What If We Aren't Making Any Progress" in this article. (BTW, that article happens to be written by Trish from Another Piece of the Puzzle. Thanks, Trish!)

Unfortunately, Jackson's newly-learned potty skills do not translate at all to the issue of "poo-poo". He seems to have absolutely no awareness whatsoever of when he is having a bowel movement or if he has soiled his underwear. If Jackson was a regular kid who had bowel movements once or twice a day, this would be a problem. Since Jackson is not a regular kid and often has 8 or 10 bowel movements a day, this is a NIGHTMARE. My temporary solution (which presented itself one evening as I removed the 11th pair of dirty underwear that day and found no more clean underwear in the drawer) is pull-ups.

I know most people see pull-ups as no different than diapers, and I completely understand that point. However, we seem to have convinced Jackson that they are. Even when wearing a pull-up, he'll tell us if he needs to go pee-pee and will go in the potty rather than in his pull-up. Of course, he will not tell us the same about poo-poo, but that's much easier to clean up in a disposable pull-up than in underwear! Naturally, he still has pee-pee accidents sometimes in his pull-up, but he's really shown substantial progress.

Okay, that was probably far more information about my son's toileting habits than most of you wanted. : ) If you have any tips or suggestions about potty training for bowel movements, I'd love to hear them.

We're making progress in all of the other areas, too. Boxes are being packed, workers are busy getting our new house ready for us, and we're preparing to move in a week. Pregnancy is going well; I'm eating like a cow and starting to look like one, too, but amazingly the kids haven't asked anything about my growing belly yet. We'll tell them soon. We just wanted to make it through the big transition of the move first.

Another heartfelt thank you to all of you who posted comments or sent me an email after my last post. I truly appreciate all of your kind words and thoughts!

I'm hoping once this move is completed and we're settled into our new routine, I'll be able to return to blogging more regularly. This blog is supposed to be a support for other families with special needs children, but lately all it's been is a diary of the issues in our particular household. I'm looking forward to talking about something other than our crazy life!

Big Update

2009-07-20T20:36:00.004-05:00

Sorry for yet another prolonged absence from blogging. Life has been a bit overwhelming lately...
We sold our house and are buying another in a suburb west of Houston (Katy for those of you familiar with this area). We close on both next week, will do a brief lease-back, and will move in 3 weeks. I'd like to say it's been a smooth, easy process. It hasn't been. But everything is on track now and whether I'm ready or not (definitely not), we're moving.

I'll confess I have not had the best attitude about this move. I just love the comfort and familiarity of the community we live in now, plus I love our house. The house we're moving to is a nice house. It really is. But it's not perfect. And it's going to take work. Which costs money. Which stresses me out. And, oh yeah, I don't know a soul who lives in Katy - no friends, no babysitters, nothing. Can I tell you how much my husband has enjoyed listening to my whining?

So, I really need to get over myself and realize there are far worse problems to have. God has worked out the details to allow us to move, and I know He has wonderful plans for us there. I just wish He'd drop a copy of those plans down from the sky.

The drama in our family doesn't end with the move...

I'm pregnant! Not very far along - only about 9 weeks. Which is probably too early to be sharing this news with the blogosphere, but I've already had to tell other people because my very petite frame wasn't keeping this a secret.

This is a decision John and I had debated for some time and finally decided to turn it over to God. Some people will think we're crazy - that we have our hands full with two kids, that having a child like Jackson requires so much extra time, effort, and money that we would be crazy to think of adding another child to our family. (We've already had that opinion expressed to us.)

I readily acknowledge this will be a challenge, and I do at times doubt my own sanity. However, I don't doubt God. I trust that He knows what is best for this family, for the two children that we have now, and if that plan includes another baby, then He will give us the strength to handle it.

So, we're praying now for a healthy baby, a healthy pregnancy, and patience, wisdom, guidance, and the ability to function with very little sleep!

And lastly...

I've been working on potty-training Jackson. It's not going especially well. I'm not sure if he's really ready, but he's almost 4 1/2 and I'm definitely ready to be finished changing his diapers (see previous post). This has added a whole new level of stress into our home, which couldn't come at a worse time. But if I'm going to be getting bigger soon, I can't continue to physically battle my four-year old son with every diaper change. So, for now, I'm sticking with the potty-training and trying not to gag every time I have to clean up poopy underwear.

That brings you up to speed on the adventures of our family! I really apologize for the whiny-nature of this post. I promised a happier post last time, and I'm afraid I didn't come through. Hopefully, a more cheerful, positive, less-stressed Jenny will be emerging sometime soon! I miss her!

And a huge thanks to all of you who responded to my last post with suggestions or words of encouragement regarding the diaper change experience. You're the best!

Just Venting

2009-06-09T13:58:00.004-05:00

No news on the house selling/moving. Still just a big cloud of uncertainty looming over that whole process.

We're having a rough time being out of school and being home together so much. And the "we" I'm referring to is not my daughter and I. No, I'm really just struggling with Jackson. He's constantly getting into things, constantly lashing out in frustration over any number of things, and constantly being aggressive toward me.

Diaper changes are the worst. I am SO TIRED of getting hit, kicked, pushed, and having my hair pulled all while trying to wipe up poop! My arms are sore from trying to hold his arms and legs back and from carrying a thrashing four-year-old to time-out when it's all done.

Today I picked him up to go get his diaper changed and I guess I was holding his arms so he couldn't hit me, and instead he head-butted me right on the bridge of my nose. It really hurt, and I couldn't hold back tears. Not only from the physical pain, but also from the emotional pain. It genuinely breaks my heart that my child wants to hurt me. I mean he really tries hard to physically hurt me.

I realize that may not be the thought process going through his head. I know that may just be the only way he knows to communicate, "I don't like this." Honestly, I don't know what he's thinking and why he hates having his diaper changed so much and why he's able to lay perfectly still for his teachers at school and then act so utterly belligerent towards me. Plenty of therapists have weighed in with suggestions. We've tried distracting him with toys and books, offering rewards if he does a good job, letting him choose where I change him, etc. I provide him with a 5 minute and 1 minute notice that I'll be changing his diaper. We've practiced changing dolls diapers and commented on how nice and still they were.

There is no easy solution and I'm not even looking for one anymore. I just wrote this to release some of my frustration. I keep hoping this physical aggressiveness is a phase that he will get through. It's been going on so long and I just don't know how much more of it I can take.

I promise a more cheery post next time!

Update: Yes, I'm Still Here!

2009-06-01T09:11:00.000-05:00

Oh my! I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted! Here's an update:

We've decided that we are most likely going to move. Not out of the city, just from a suburb south of Houston to a suburb west of Houston. This has been an extremely difficult decision. We just built the house we're in three years ago and love it, love it, love everything about it. We built it thinking that we wouldn't move again and chose everything to be perfectly suited for our family. We love our neighbors, our church is close-by, we have wonderful neighborhood amenities, I could go on and on.

As you know, Jackson got in to a wonderful private school for kids with special needs, which we're so excited about. However, I'm not very excited about driving 100 miles per day just to transport him to and from said school. Could I do it? Sure, I could, and I will be doing it if our house doesn't sell. But, if Jackson attends this school for several years (potentially through 5th grade), it doesn't make sense to continue to drive that many miles every day for years. Not to mention the entire drive is on a tollway, so I'll be paying to drive back and forth every time, which quickly adds up.

Add to that fact that I'm not in love with our local public school, so if the private school didn't work out, I wouldn't want Jackson going there. And even though my issues have only been with special ed, I don't even think I want Hana going there.

So, I started doing research about schools and school districts that were both great schools for typical kids and had good special ed programs. And I think I've found such a place located on the same side of town as Jackson's new private school.

Thus, we've spent the last month scrambling to get the house ready for showing, and keeping an eye out for potential new homes on the west side of town. We put our house on the market two weeks ago. I'm still not totally at peace with this decision, but I'm hoping if this is what is meant to be, then God will work out all the details.

In other news, Jackson finished his school year last week. We have a few things lined up for this summer, but we also have a lot of open days. Not sure how we're going to fill them. Guess I'll have to get creative!

We did go to the pool this weekend for the first time this year, and Jackson got in after only one minute of hesitation! This was huge, as in past years, it took several trips to the pool before he would be comfortable with going in the water. At his first "swim lesson" last summer, he only put his toes and finger tips in the water. And this weekend, he walked around waist deep water, played in the fountains, and even went down a toddler water slide with me!

I hope you and your families are doing well. I've been keeping up with several of your blogs, even though I haven't taken time to write on my own. I'll try to make sure I don't wait a month before my next post!

So Where Have I Been?

2009-04-30T20:28:00.004-05:00

Well, I sure haven't been here much lately! Even though I haven't actually gone anywhere, here's where I've been...

First, remember my 9 Resolutions for 2009? You get a gold star if you do, because evidently I didn't! I revisited those recently and realized I was pretty much failing at most of them. So, I've been trying to tackle many of those areas with renewed vigor.

Second, I've been working on some things for our church. One of which is starting a new ministry for children with special needs. Our church is not large, but I still feel that is an important ministry to be able to offer the community.

And third, I've been living in my head quite a bit, trying to think through some big issues. John and I are at a point where we face several important decisions. None of which have "good" or "bad" outcomes, rather decisions that simply require us to choose to travel down Path A or Path B. Both paths have nice features and both present some concerns, and we're vacillating back and forth. And, as always is the case with life, though they are separate decisions on separate issues, each decision affects the other. Don't you love those points in your life? I told my mother today I was tired of being an adult; I'd prefer to go back to being a kid and having someone else make decisions for me!

So I'm not sure where blogging fits into all of this, but I thank you for your patience and I'll be back soon!

We Love Stable

2009-04-23T13:42:00.003-05:00

We went to visit the cardiovascular genetics clinic yesterday to get the results of Jackson's last MRI. After waiting hours to see the doctors, we got the good news that his heart is still in very stable condition. There has been no change in the dilation of his aorta in the past year, which is very good news. Clearly, the medication is doing it's job! So, we will continue with that, making a slight adjustment for his growth, and do this all again in six months.

On the genetics side, no new information. A new chromosomal microarray just became available, and they will check to see if it would be worthwhile to Jackson to have this test. He last had one about a year ago, so I'll let them be the judge of determining if this would provide them with enough new information to justify it.

We also briefly discussed the direction that the science of genetics is going. In 2003, the human genome was first sequenced, costing $3 billion. The doctor yesterday was saying it's now possible to do that same sequencing for as little as $10,000. Unbelievable how quickly the costs have fallen! Now, we will not be looking into having that done. But, he was just discussing that with these huge advances in medicine, the tests that they have available will be rapidly progressing to provide new information. For the first time in quite a while, I walked away hopeful that one day we might actually have a name for the genetic disorder Jackson has.

My Paper Towel Challenge

2009-04-20T13:51:00.005-05:00

Sorry I haven't been around much lately. It's been busy, busy and I'm finally getting over this cold I've had for two weeks.

I wanted to share with you the paper towel challenge I've set out to accomplish. I'd like to say this is in honor of Earth Day. That would make total sense, and it would be a noble cause. But, the truth is my paper towel challenge is in honor of the how-the-heck-are we-going-to-pay-for-Jackson's-school-where-can-we-possibly-cut-costs?!? cause.

My challenge is to make it through this entire week (Monday-Friday) without using a paper towel. If that doesn't sound like a big challenge to you, let me invite you over for a meal with my kids! Seriously, they are messy! I can't really even explain how they (okay, it's really mostly Jackson) make such a mess, but every meal we end up with food and sticky substances on the table, floor, clothes, and in the hair (Jackson has a habit of putting his hands in his hair).

It's just easiest to grab a roll of paper towels, wipe everything up, and throw away the mess. Of course, this approach uses a ton of paper towels!

So, this week I'm trying to use cloths. Better for the environment and better for the budget!

I'm only a few hours into this, and lunch was already quite the challenge. We had leftover barbecue, not exactly mess-free food. Jackson quickly gave up on trying to use his spoon and fork (still working on those fine motor skills!) and ate everything, including the potato salad, with his hands. Hana spilled her milk. Jackson threw a plate with sticky pineapple juice onto the floor. And the dog was at the vet today, so I had no assistance in cleaning up the various pieces of food that made their way onto the floor! But, I stuck to the cloths.

Honestly, it wasn't that hard not to use paper towels. I think it's just a habit I'll have to get used to. I'm psyched to see if I can make it through the rest of the week!

Are there any common household items you've given up to save money or for the sake of the environment? I'd love to hear about it!

Never Judge a Book By Its Cover

2009-04-14T18:37:00.005-05:00

Okay, I'll admit this is random. But not as random as it first seems.

This is a video from the British version of American Idol. You've just got to watch it (embedding has been disabled, so I have to just give you the link):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

I don't know about you, but I found that profoundly touching and gratifying. Really, I had tears in my eyes watching it.

It somehow spoke to me in some deep part of my soul. That part of my soul that is afraid others are going to judge my child by what they see or what they hear, or don't hear. The part of me that's afraid people are never going to get the chance to hear the beautiful melody of his life.

And yet it provided such a gratifying answer. The looks on the judges faces were priceless when they heard this incredible voice. They had judged her prematurely, and they had been dead wrong.

Okay, I know that's A LOT to get from a reality TV show clip, but I had to share it with you. I know many of you probably have the same concerns about your child being judged, so I thought you might enjoy a couple of minutes of inspiration.

God is GOOD!

2009-04-09T13:30:00.004-05:00

This is a holy week. A week when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. A time for us to reflect on both the ultimate gift from God, His son, and the many other gifts He has given us.

Sometimes we have a hard time seeing His gifts. Often they don't come in shiny packages with big pretty bows. Many require much labor to open. Some, once revealed, are quite difficult to understand, and have no instructions included. Still others appear to be not at all what we were asking for.

And yet, occasionally, occasionally we do get a shiny box with a big, pretty bow...

Jackson got into the private school! Oh, praise God, he got in! I could say it again and again, he got in!!

Please don't mistake my enthusiasm for bragging. This isn't some prestigious, elite school that he passed a rigorous test and grueling interview to get in. It's not that kind of private school. This is a school that determines acceptance based on one question: can we (the school) meet the needs of this special needs student? There was nothing we, as parents, could do to boost our chances of acceptance. No way we could prep Jackson or make our application more appealing. It was simply a matter of the school evaluating Jackson and determining if his set of needs was an appropriate fit for their approach.

From the first time we visited, we felt this school was uniquely suited to help our son learn, grow, and reach his potential. So, my enthusiasm comes from the joy and excitement of knowing he will be surrounded by people who understand how to help children with apraxia, who know how to reach and teach children with developmental delays, and who have designed the entire learning environment to benefit children who have language and learning differences. And mostly, I'm thankful to God for leading us to this place and for allowing the staff there to see the same wonderful potential that we see in Jackson. What a wonderful gift!

As if that wasn't enough, God gave us another gift today.

Jackson's MRI was scheduled for this morning. Because he has to be sedated, they are not able to do the test if he is congested, has a fever, or is sick in any way. We were nervous about this for several reasons: 1) Everyone in this house (except Jackson) has had cold and congestion symptoms this week. 2) Jackson was exposed to new children during his school visit this week. 3) Jackson has quite the habit of putting his fingers in his mouth when he's nervous. While we were observing him at the new school this week, he repeatedly had his fingers in his mouth.

So we were quite disappointed (but not the least bit surprised), when Jackson woke up around 10pm last night with a 101.8 fever. We assumed the MRI would have to be cancelled, which was quite frustrating as John had taken off work, my mom had come in to watch Hana, etc. We went to bed and didn't even set the alarm.

We woke up early this morning and realized Jackson had slept soundly through the night. We went in to check on him and he was cheerful and fever free! We threw on our clothes and raced to the hospital. We told them about the fever when we got there, and it was obvious from their expression they thought they couldn't do the sedation. But, several nurses examined him and found him to be fine. They consulted with the anesthesiologist who said we could go ahead.

So, they sedated him, performed the MRI, and he woke up with no difficulty. Another thank you, God!

Right before he woke up, he began sounding congested and they suctioned some fluid out, and then he coughed all the way home. And now he has a slight fever again. So, he probably does have the same cold we all have (or perhaps a different variety he picked up this week). But, praise God for making all of the symptoms disappear this morning and allowing us to get the MRI taken care of!

Now I'm going to spend the weekend celebrating the events of this week and the wonderful gift of Easter. I hope you and your family have a lovely weekend and I thank all of you who have offered up your thoughts and prayers regarding Jackson's school and MRI. I pray that God will deliver some shiny new gifts in your lives, too!

Big Week For Us

2009-04-06T12:08:00.003-05:00

So Jackson has actually made it to the last phase of the application process for the private special needs school (which, in itself, is really exciting and slightly unexpected given that their initial impression of him was that he was too delayed to be right for their school).

But here we are. And I'm nervous and excited and hopeful and not wanting to get my hopes up and probably 10 or 20 other emotions right now.

I had an opportunity over the weekend to meet a person who is extremely knowledgeable about special education and Houston-area schools. She has been in a position to observe all of the special needs private schools in the area as well as many public schools and other preschools. When I first met her and described a little about my son and asked if she had any school recommendations for him, her first response was, "The absolute best school in the city, possibly even the state, for a child with Jackson's needs is X." And, you guessed it, "X" is the school that we've applied to.

The final step in the application process is the classroom visit. For two days, Jackson will attend the class and they will observe him. Today is the first day. He's in that class right now as I sit here typing this. He'll go back again tomorrow, and John and I will actually be able to observe him for an hour of his day (each room has a window of darkened glass in it, so we'll be able to see him, but he won't be able to see us). We probably won't know whether he will be offered a spot at the school for another week.

Once the stress of that is over tomorrow, we'll have one normal day with Easter parties at the kids Mothers Day Out classes.

Then, we'll head to the hospital early Thursday morning so Jackson can be sedated for another cardiac MRI. It's been six months since his last MRI, and that's the longest he's gone since the doctors discovered his aortic aneurysm. We're hoping for good results: no surprises, no major changes. We won't know the results for two weeks.

I don't have high hopes for getting much written on the blog this week, but I will try to keep you updated.

Are You Aware?

2009-04-04T10:22:00.004-05:00

A couple of campaigns have been taking place in the last week which are quite relevant to the special needs population. I am, unfortunately, several days late in getting this posted, but I couldn't write a blog about special needs children without mentioning these!

*****

The first item I want to make sure you're aware of is the R-word campaign. This is an effort being championed by Special Olympics to eliminate the use of the words "retard" or "retarded" in everyday conversation.

Many people have said, correctly, that "retarded" is a medical term. And I personally don't have a problem with the word used in that context, i.e. a physician saying "most children with XYZ diagnosis will have some degree of mental retardation."

The aim of this campaign, though, is the derogatory use of the r-word in casual conversation, especially the word "retard". I can't think of a single occasion in which using that term would be proper or acceptable. I can think of MANY in which using that term would be hurtful to someone affected with an intellectual disability or to someone who loves someone with an intellectual disability.

Actor John C. McGinley, who has a son with down syndrome, wrote this letter encouraging people to eliminate the use of the r-word. Take a minute to read it and visit r-word.org to learn more about how you can participate in this effort.

*****

The second item, also very significant to the special needs community is that this is Autism Awareness month. April 2nd was World Autism Awareness Day, and you most likely saw several news articles and stories related to that.

For the entire month of April, various bloggers will be writing to increase awareness of autism and I encourage you to read their insights, concerns, and inspirations. Today I'll direct your attention to two I've seen that really struck a chord with me:

- Danette at Everyday Adventures posted this amazing video about her family's experience with autism (she has three sons on the spectrum). It's poignant, inspiring, and puts three beautiful faces to the word autism.

- Cale at Spectrum Siblings writes every week to increase autism awareness! (If you've got a child on the spectrum, go immediately to his blog and bookmark it. He is a fabulous resource!) I particularly enjoyed the wonderful slant on autism awareness he took in this post.

Stop by and visit those sites this weekend when you have a chance. You'll be glad you did!

Earn a Little Spending Money

2009-03-30T09:16:00.006-05:00

I'm going to spare you the details of the last several days around here. (Jackson had another stomach bag, which lasted several days. I'm sure that gives you enough information about what's been keeping me busy!)

I'm finally returning to a Money Monday post. Today I wanted to give you a few ideas about easy ways to make a little extra money. A few extra bucks here and there can help stretch your budget!

- Earn rewards through your credit card or checking account. Before we had kids, we always used a credit card that rewarded us with airline miles. Once we had children and weren't traveling as much, we switched to a Upromise card that earns money for our kids' college.

Within the past year, we switched checking account providers. I'd had the same account since college and hadn't given much thought to it. We didn't earn any rewards with it and it didn't pay interest, but it was a basic no-fee account that worked fine for us. Then one day as I was balancing my checkbook and checking off all of the debit card transactions, I began to wonder if there was an account out there that gave you rewards for using a debit card. We use our debit cards all the time! I started looking and found a no-fee account that would give me rewards for using a debit card and would also pay me interest! They had a promotion going at the time that would give me extra rewards, so in just making this one switch we've earned $200 in gift cards!

I'm not saying the account or credit card that we use is right for you. But I would encourage you to think about your lifestyle, the way that you bank, what rewards programs might be most beneficial to you and then take a look at what's out there. You may find a product that will be very rewarding to you.

- Earn money for shopping online. Start your shopping with Big Crumbs or a similar rebater and earn cash back when you shop at participating stores. Big Crumbs will automatically deposit money into your PayPal account.

- Earn money for reading ads. Sign up with YouData and they will pay you to look at ads. It takes very little time to look at these ads. And they deposit your earnings into your PayPal account each week (no minimum). An easy way to make a few dollars. (By the way, if you sign up and want to list me as a referral, send me an email and I'll give you my username.)

MyPoints is another site that allows you to earn rewards for viewing ads which they email to you. They'll also give you rewards for taking surveys or shopping through their site. You can redeem the rewards you earn for gift cards at a variety of merchants.

- Sell on eBay. Need to declutter your house? List those clothes the kids have outgrown or the household items you're not using on eBay. Turn your clutter into cash!

These are just a few of the things I've done to make a little extra spending money. If you know of another easy way to earn a few dollars, please let us know!

Our Celebratory Week

2009-03-25T12:18:00.015-05:00

We had the occasion to celebrate two big milestones in our family over the past week...

First, John and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary! Our parents came in town so we were able to take the night off, head into the city, have a nice dinner, and stay at a lovely historic hotel downtown. So fun and such a nice treat to have a little "staycation". Here we are dressed up and ready to go...

We awoke the next morning and headed over to the zoo to begin celebrating the second milestone: Jackson's 4th birthday! We decided to forgo the big party this year in lieu of a trip to the zoo with just the four of us and the grandparents. A perfect birthday celebration for Jackson!

He and Hana loved the zoo and were excited to find the inflatable zoo animals and cookie cake that were waiting at our house...

I also made everyone wear a zoo animal hat because I knew the kids would enjoy seeing us wear those silly hats...

Such a fun weekend for our family!

Our Sweet Little Reward

2009-03-24T13:26:00.007-05:00

We've spent the last week celebrating in my house, and I'll have details and pictures tomorrow! But today, I wanted to share a tidbit that some of you might find helpful.

You may recall this post, in which I talked about our difficulties getting out the door and to our intended destinations on time. Well, that issue has not been completely resolved by any stretch, but one portion of it has gotten substantially better: getting in the car seats.

The car seat issue had become quite a problem, with Jackson frequently hitting and kicking me while I was trying to get him in and Hana crawling into the front seat wanting to drive! I'd spoken with the behavior therapist about this issue several times and she kept suggesting some kind of reward for getting in car seats without a struggle.

Of course, my problem with that lay in the fact that we are constantly going places. I had to come up with some type of reward that would be enticing enough that they would want it eight times a day, but that wouldn't ruin their appetites or cost a fortune. I tried stickers, but they quickly lost their appeal. I tried typical snacks, like goldfish or pretzels, but again I couldn't give them eight cups of goldfish a day!

And then one of my mother's friends had a suggestion: M&M's. Brilliant! My kids had never had M&M's before, so they were excited to try them and of course, liked them. And that became our go to treat. Every time they get in their car seats nicely (no hitting or kicking) and in a reasonable amount of time, they get one M&M. And they get to pick the color.

One M&M might not sound like such a treat, but it usually works for us. We still have those days in which everything falls apart and there is much hitting, kicking, and racing away from Mommy. But at least that's not every single time we get in the car now!

If you're looking for a small reward to use in this type of situation or any other (potty training, perhaps?), you may want to consider a little candy or treat like this.

And as usual, I was not on topic for this week's Try This Tuesday, but you should check out the great posts from the folks who were!

Suggestions?

2009-03-17T23:25:00.003-05:00

I'm squeezing in this Try This Tuesday post in the last few minutes of what is actually Tuesday. And I'm not offering any tips this time. Instead I am, once again, flipping the tables and turning to you wonderful readers to ask for advice.

You've read here before that we spend a lot of time each week taking Jackson to therapy. He has OT, PT, two speech articulation therapies, two language-based speech sessions, and behavioral therapy each week. At each therapy session, Jackson goes back to work with the therapist, and Hana stays in the waiting area with me.

But lately, Hana has not been happy with this arrangement. (As a reminder, Hana is my 2-year old typically developing daughter.) In fact, she keeps asking to go to therapy with Jackson. I can't blame her - from her perspective, Jackson gets to go to all of these places and play with new toys and people and she just has to sit there with Mom. Oh, I've tried bringing books, toys, and snacks to entertain her. Sometimes we play "I Spy" or "Simon Says".

But still I hear, "Hana go to therapy with Ms. Cara?" and "Hana go to speech with Miss Hudson?" I tell her no and she gets upset and I feel so bad for her.

I so wish she had an activity of her own. She and I did take a little Mommy and Me gymnastics class for a while, which she loved. But we had to cancel it because Jackson can't have back-to-back therapy sessions now (a goofy rule of our new insurance company), which means I don't have a long enough block of time without him to take Hana anywhere.

Hana is a bright little girl, and I feel like she deserves some kind of explanation as to why she can't attend therapy like Jackson. But what do I tell her? How do you explain to a two-year-old that her brother has significant developmental delays which require constant therapy? And that even though the therapy is work for him, we have to make it look and sound fun to get him to go along with it.

It just makes me so sad when she's begging to go and I'm saying no and not offering her any sort of reason.

So, I'd love to hear any thoughts you have! How would address this or would you address this with a child that young? If you have older children, when did you first start talking to them about their special needs sibling?

As always, thank you so much for sharing your ideas!

I'm Back, I Think!

2009-03-16T13:49:00.003-05:00

Hi friends! Thanks for your patience as I've struggled to find blogging time lately. Instead of doing Money Monday today, I thought I'd do a brief update post on our schooling issues. I plan to be back with several other posts later this week.

The school decision is still undecided. I attended Jackson's ARD last week. The recommendation of the ARD committee was for Jackson to participate in a PPCD/Pre-K inclusion class. What's that? PPCD is the Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities class, which Jackson qualifies to be in. Pre-K is a class for typically developing students who qualify due to economic disadvantage (which we would not qualify for).

The theory is to have the PPCD students be included in the Pre-K class, which mimics the inclusion program in place for elementary students. Decent idea, in theory. Problem? They admitted they were expecting to have 29 students in the Pre-K class with one teacher! Twenty-nine! And Jackson and the other PPCD kids coming in would be in addition to that! Sure, a special ed teacher would come with them, but we're talking about over 30 four-year-olds (some of whom have special needs) in one classroom with two teachers. No, thank you! We have trouble getting Jackson to participate in a class with only 6 other students. He would be absolutely lost with 30 students in a class.

Fortunately, the ARD committee agreed instead to let him do the same thing he's doing this year: the twice per week language-based speech program and the twice per week articulation therapy.

As of right now, our plan is to do that, along with private therapy, and the same Mother's Day Out program he's in now (because the people in charge of that program are ANGELS FROM GOD and will allow him to come back even though he'll be 4 1/2 and their official cut-off is 3 years old.)

However...

All of that will change if he gets in to the private school for children with special needs. The evaluation went well last week, and the person evaluating him thought he might be a good fit. There are still several steps in the process before we'll know if he'll be offered a spot or not; we won't know for at least several weeks. Currently, we're optimistic with an abundance of caution. BTW, the class size at the private school: ten kids with one teacher (who has a master's in speech pathology) and two aides. Three adults to ten kids works for me!

So, that's the latest. We're just praying that God will lead us in the right direction, open any doors of opportunity that need to be opened, and close any that would not be in Jackson's best interest.

Hope all is well with you and I'll be back tomorrow.

Well, but busy

2009-03-12T13:35:00.002-05:00

I meant to post an update sooner than this, but alas I'm finally getting to it. Thankfully, everyone is well now. We've just had a very busy week. I had Jackson's ARD meeting at the public school yesterday and today he has his evaluation for the private special needs school. I'm hoping to have all of this school stuff figured out very soon (at least for one year)!

Unfortunately, I don't really have time to post anything else right now, as I must leave in a few minutes to pick Jackson up and head to the evaluation. I will post more soon and bring you up to date. I hope all is well with you and your families!

Really?

2009-03-05T16:19:00.003-06:00

After recovering from a difficult week last week, I'm now at home with a sick child. Jackson has some kind of virus that causes oh, everything - fever, extreme sore throat, runny nose, and loss of appetite, with a little diarrhea and vomiting thrown in.

The fact that he's sick would be bad enough by itself. But the fact that's he's sick TODAY, when he had his evaluation by the private special needs school scheduled is incredibly frustrating.

And now there is no way that can be rescheduled before I have to go into his ARD at the public school next week. So, I get to sit through the ARD having no idea where he's even going to be in school next year. (And they won't reschedule the ARD - I already asked.)

The doctor said this virus should last 5 days. We're on day 2. And I'm pretending not to notice that my daughter's nose has now started to run.

At some point, I really will be back into blogging more regularly. I'm just not sure when that will be right now!

Introducing Consonant Sounds

2009-03-02T22:27:00.002-06:00

I was going through a closet recently and found this basket which I had forgotten about:

What is it? It's our "B" basket that I made for Jackson at the request of one of his first speech therapists. At the time Jackson was not consistently making any consonant sounds. The therapist asked me to put together a collection of items that started with a particular sound - we started with the lip sounds "b", "m", and "p".

The rules for the items in the basket:
- the items were not to be toys that he saw every day
- the items were to be interesting enough that he would want to examine them, but not so interesting that he would get fixated on one and lose interest in the rest of the basket
- the items should have names that were relatively easy to pronounce
- the goal was to have around 10 different items in the basket (some of ours are missing in the picture above)

During therapy, one basket would come out. Jackson and the therapist would examine every item and she would attempt to get Jackson to label each one. Now, would he accurately say the name for each item? No, not even close. But over time, he did begin to pronounce the beginning consonant sound, which was a huge step for him!

So, if you're looking for a way to encourage beginning verbal skills, you may want to give the basket idea a try. It's a fun change of pace from flashcards or labeling pictures. (Note to self: I really should pull these back out now. Jackson would come much closer to correctly labeling many of these items now, and would probably have more fun with this than our typical speech drills!)

Oh, and you don't have to use baskets. Be creative! I put the "p" items in a plastic pumpkin and the "m" items in a mail bag.

For more tips, visit Try This Tuesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

I Know I Haven't Been Around Much...

2009-02-27T14:37:00.003-06:00

Sometimes life just punches you right in the gut. And it hurts. And it takes you a little time to regain your footing. Such was my week.

I'm on my feet again, and I'll be back next week.

How Much Are You Paying to Have Your Taxes Prepared?

2009-02-22T21:47:00.001-06:00

Unless you have a complicated tax situation, I really hope your answer to my title question is "not much"!

I ask this question because I was reminded recently of how many people get taken advantage of when it comes to tax preparation. I was speaking with a woman who is a receptionist at an office. Her tax preparation would have been very straightforward. Wages from her employment were her only source of income, she did not itemize deductions, she owned no investments, rental property, or anything else that might make tax preparation more complex. And yet she was charged over $300 to have her taxes prepared! With an easy return like that, she could have filed online through TurboTax free! When I mentioned that to her, she was shocked! She simply didn't know that such an option existed.

I've seen this happen more times than I care to remember. People who are unfamiliar and uncomfortable with tax preparation get totally taken advantage of by "professionals".

Now, I'm not knocking CPAs or other tax professionals (my husband actually is a CPA, though he doesn't do tax work). I don't deny that they absolutely perform an important service and should be compensated fairly. But over $300 for a 1040EZ? Please!!

If you are reading this and are considering paying for tax preparation and cost is an issue, let me encourage you to first check out TurboTax or a similar tax preparation service online. I personally have used TurboTax for years and have been very pleased with it. It will walk you through everything you need to fill out, asking you simple questions that anyone (even someone with no business background) can answer. For a basic return, you'll file for free. If you itemize and have basic investment information to input (capital gains/losses, interest, dividends), you can file for just $29.95. The prices continue to increase with the complexity of your return, but are FAR less than if you were to pay a tax professional.

If your tax situation is complex, or if you would just feel more comfortable handing everything over to a professional and letting them do it, then don't hesitate to consult a CPA. That extra peace of mind will probably be worth the cost you pay.

Just keep in mind that you do have options when it comes to tax preparation. And the do-it-yourself versions just might be easier than you think!

Busy, Busy Around Here

2009-02-19T16:24:00.003-06:00

Hi friends! Sorry to have neglected the blog for an entire week! It's been busy...

We had friends come stay with us for a couple of nights last weekend. They have three kids, the oldest of which is a month younger than Jackson. So, four adults and five kids ages three and under in one house! It was fun and we had a great time seeing them.

Right after they left, my Mom came in town to visit and help out for a week. (Hallelujah!) I taught two classes at two different churches this week on the topic of living on less. I shared many money-saving and couponing tips and the lessons were well-received. I was glad to be able to teach them, and especially glad to make it through the one today. I've been battling a cold all week and my voice was almost completely gone yesterday. Luckily it came back enough for me to make it through today's lesson. I was very hoarse, but at least audible!

I'm still trying to make schooling decisions for both kids for next year. I doubt I will have a solution until April, because one of the schools will take that long to give us an answer on if Jackson is accepted or not. Meanwhile, I keep spreading deposit money all over town. Not fun.

We've had our regular therapies and outings to keep us busy, too. And despite my best efforts, we have not seen an improvement yet in the car loading routine. Today was another hit and kick mommy day. Lord, give me patience!

I hope all is well with you and your families!

A Few Pics

2009-02-11T10:13:00.011-06:00

It's been a while since I've posted any pictures, so I thought I'd share a few with you. These were taken a few weeks ago. Could my children be any more opposite? Hana loves to have her picture made and will stand, smile, and wait for the flash, then race over to me to see what her picture looked like on the camera. Jackson sees the camera and starts running away from me. I was able to take these pictures of him because I captured him coming out from under the table he was using as a hide-out.

For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs!

Another Drugstore You May Want To Shop

2009-02-09T16:12:00.003-06:00

I've told you about my love affair with CVS. Did you know I also love Walgreens? Yeah, I like to spread the love around.

Walgreens has a wonderful free after rebate program called their Easy Saver program. And it is easy! Every month they feature items that you can get free. Some months there are several items, some only a few. This is a good month, so I thought I'd mention this to those of you who have a Walgreens nearby.

There are six items you can get free this month from Walgreens:
- Zucol Cold Care Lozenges
- Revlon Age Defying Concealer or Foundation
- Revlon Creme Lip Gloss
- Fructis Wonder Waves Shampoo, Conditioner, or Styling Product
- Walgreen's Multi-Purpose Contact Solution
- ThermaCare Heat Wrap

How does this work? You simply go to the store and purchase the items (pick up the little pink EasySaver booklet at the front of the store to see which items and sizes qualify). Once you've purchased them, enter basic information from your receipt at Walgreens.com. Then choose to receive your rebate in the form of a Walgreens gift card. Why? They'll add a 10% bonus to the rebate amount if you receive it in the form of a gift card.

Hang on to your gift card and use it the next month to buy the rebate items, and you won't have to spend any money out of pocket. They'll continue to add your rebates to the card you already have. It couldn't be easier!

But, wait, there's more! Often, there are coupons out for these rebate items. You can use coupons to save on the price of these items, but you will still get rebated the full price of the item (plus 10%)!

For this month, you can find a $2 Zucol coupon in the 2/1 SmartSource insert or you can print a $2 coupon here. You'll find $2 Revlon coupons in the 1/11 SmartSource insert. And you can find a $1 Garnier coupon in either the 1/4 Red Plum insert or the 2/8 Red Plum insert. If you were to use the coupons I just mentioned and bought all of the above items, you would spend $29.76 and get $40.44 back on a Walgreens gift card. (Numbers are approximate - prices may vary slightly between stores.) That's six items free plus an extra $10!

And what if you don't care to use all of these particular products? Just donate the items you won't use to charity - I'm sure you can find a shelter that would be happy to receive them!

My Computer Crashed

2009-02-06T11:40:00.003-06:00

I don't know what happened, but it wasn't good. I'm back on and connected now. My files are intact, but my personal email is GONE. Completely wiped out. I use a cable service provider, but Outlook to actually view my messages. I have used this same email and system for years. And now all of my emails AND all of my contacts are gone. I spent an hour on the phone with the cable company plus a few wasted minutes listening to Microsoft recordings, but made no headway.

Anyhow, if you are a personal friend or family member reading this, would you kindly resend your contact information to my personal email? And if you've sent me an email in the past few days and I haven't responded, you may want to resend that as well. Sorry to have to use this public blog for this matter which has nothing to do with special needs, but I didn't know of an easier way to contact everyone. Thanks!

FYI, the email address I use for this blog (gmail account) was not affected.

Oh, and if anyone knows a way I could possibly get the contacts and emails restored, PLEASE let me know!

Okay, So I'm Not a Bad Mom

2009-02-05T15:09:00.002-06:00

Remember all of the resolutions I made for 2009? I'll go into more detail on how I'm doing in a later post, but for now let's just say I'm making measurable (not great) progress in almost all of them. The one that keeps tripping me up? #5 - Be on time.

I will freely confess that I have a long history of struggling with this on-time issue. But, I have been working so hard to improve upon this and I'm getting nowhere! Well, that's not totally true. If the only person who has to go somewhere is me and I am not dependent upon anyone else (i.e. husband) being home before I can go, then I can get to my destination on time. But throw in the kids and no way.

If you were watching a video of the three of us trying to leave our house in the morning, here is what you would see:

- Everything needed for the excursion ready to go (clothes laid out, lunches made, etc). Mom dressed. Auspicious beginning!
- Downhill fast: Mom chasing kids around the house while fighting over diaper change, going potty, getting clothes on, and which chair to sit in for breakfast. Once children are dressed and seated at the table, one or more will throw food, drink, place mat, etc. in anger over not getting the chair that he/she wanted. Someone goes to time out.
- Breakfast is served. Younger child insists on eating by herself, spills food all over, Mom cleans it up.
- Food is eaten, medicine administered, everyone is ready to go. Younger one claims she needs to go potty again.
- Mom begins trying to move children to the car. Children run. Mom acts like she's going to leave them. They call her bluff. She chases them around, trying to put coats on and corral them into the garage.
- Once in the garage, the chase continues, with neither child willing to get in their car seats. You as the viewer now think the channel has been switched to WWF. Mom uses arms, legs, elbows, anything within her power to get children into seats. One child is likely to lay on the floor of the garage, forcing Mom to hoist him over her shoulder and drop him into the car. This same child is likely then to begin hitting and kicking Mom. Mom says no hitting, closes the door, and turns her back to ignore the child. Mom waits a minute and tries again. Same routine. Mom closes door again and waits. Mom attempts a 3rd time and is greeted with the same reaction. Mom is now yelling and glances down to see her watch tick past the time they were supposed to be at destination.

You get the picture. Obviously, the heart of this issue is my complete lack of control over my children's behavior (okay, mainly one child's). I'm trying everything I can think of and the end result is always the same. And I feel like a failure. So, now I'm violating resolution #9 (not to feel stressed when I fail to meet any of the other resolutions).

Add to this Jackson's speech therapist saying last week that he has regressed (which is dead wrong), and perhaps he would be making much better progress if we would get there on time. Thanks. That's helpful.

As we raced into speech therapy five minutes late today, I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. I didn't dare let them fall.

We left from there, repeated the ridiculous car routine and made it to our next therapy appointment without a second to spare. Once Jackson went back for therapy and Hana busied herself with Legos, I sunk down on the couch to wallow in my failure.

And then the most amazing thing happened.

I watched as three other children and their mothers came and/or went. Two of these children clearly were on the spectrum and one I couldn't determine. That, in itself, is not amazing. We go to therapy all the time, so I'm very used to seeing kids with special needs. Today was different. Because today, I looked at these other mothers and I saw myself.

One mother was about to have her arm pulled out of socket by holding on to her daughter who was trying to escape. She kept reminding the daughter that they needed to wait, but the young girl just screamed and continued to pull.

Then there was the mother whose son couldn't stop bouncing around. Ignoring the warnings of his mother and therapist, he darted up a flight of stairs. I so empathized with the mother's sigh of frustration as she chased after him up those stairs (I had to race up those very stairs myself two weeks ago running after Jackson). She tried repeatedly to get him to leave but he refused. He even threw himself down on the floor (a move right out of Jackson's book). She finally got him out the door. I didn't watch to see, but I just imagine there was a struggle getting him into the car.

I didn't look at those mothers as failures for their inability to "control" their children. What I saw were incredibly dedicated parents. Parents who loved their children in spite of the challenges they presented. Parents who were doing the best they could and seeking out the most appropriate therapies possible for their children.

And, I'd like to believe, that's who I am. I am head over heels in love with my children and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. So if I'm five minutes late for therapy or whatever, please speech therapist, cut me a little slack. And I'll try to do the same for myself.

Try This for Toothbrushing

2009-02-03T13:14:00.000-06:00

I'm not on topic for this week's Try This Tuesday, but I thought this might help someone else out there.

Jackson has made significant progress in dealing with his sensory processing difficulties, but the one area that has continued to be quite a struggle is tactile defensiveness, especially on his face. Put simply, he doesn't want us touching his face. For instance, he's never given us a kiss with his lips; he'll sometimes give us a "Jackson" kiss - he'll lean over like he's bowing and touch his forehead to ours - that's the most he is comfortable with. Putting sunscreen on his face can be a huge challenge. And, of course, brushing his teeth is a nightmare.

The toothbrushing routine usually requires two adults - one holding Jackson's arms and legs down on the floor, the other holding his head and brushing his teeth. It probably goes without saying that he's screaming throughout this. And even with both adults, we rarely get to brush his teeth for more than 10 seconds or so. We've tried different flavored toothpastes, cool toothbrushes (he even has one now that lights up!), but nothing has helped.

Last week, at the direction of his OT, we made some changes. First we switched to the tiniest toothbrush we could find. Then we changed the location we typically brushed his teeth in, and though we thought this would be impossible, had him sit on a chair in the kitchen. When we were prepared to brush his teeth, we explained that we would brush one section at a time to the count of 10 and then give him a break. And we used a DRY toothbrush - no toothpaste!

I was very skeptical, but he's done remarkably well with these changes! He will actually sit in the chair and not hit or kick us. We tell him everything we are about to do, i.e. "I'm going to brush your bottom right teeth to the count of ten and then I'll give you a break." We repeat this 6 times to cover all of his teeth, drying off his toothbrush at every "break".

To be clear, he's not jumping for joy at the thought of getting his teeth brushed. He still offers some resistance, whines a little, and frequently turns his head away from us. But this is remarkable improvement! I'm not sure how we'll proceed from here, I'm guessing we'll slowly start incorporating toothpaste back in. For those of you who are appalled that he hasn't had toothpaste in his mouth in a week, we figured 60 seconds of dry brushing was better than 6 seconds of brushing with toothpaste!

I wish he could talk and tell us which of the changes - the smaller toothbrush, the different location, the lack of toothpaste, the focus on only one section at a time, the frequent breaks - made this more bearable for him. Alas, we don't know. But we'll keep up with all of them (except the no toothpaste) if it makes this task easier!

A Few Additions

2009-01-29T22:53:00.001-06:00

I've added a few blogs to my blogroll and just wanted to highlight them.

Challenges and Adventures - I've been reading Gail's blog for a while now, but just kept forgetting to add it. Her amazing faith will inspire you!

Special Insights - Kaia's mom is new to the world of blogging, and I'm sure she'd love to "meet" some other special needs moms, so stop by and visit when you get a chance.

A Celebration Of Our Journey - Julie is a homeschooling mom to her 5 year old with autism. (BTW, I am in awe of homeschooling moms.) She's also an incredible photographer.

Spectrum Siblings - If you have a child on the spectrum, you'll want to read this blog. And if you don't have a child on the spectrum, you'll want to read this blog. Author Cale is a very intelligent young man who has Asperger's. He shares a wealth of information and resources for those affected by an autism spectrum disorder, as well as his fascinating insights into how he's learned to, in his words, "cope, love, and thrive on the autism spectrum."

Enjoy reading these blogs if you don't already!

Yes, We're Still Alive!

2009-01-29T13:06:00.003-06:00

We made it through the week of sickness and are back in the land of the living. And what a week it was. In a span of five days, I wiped up snot, vomit, urine, diarrhea, and blood (not related to the illness, but a result of Jackson closing a door on Hana's fingers). Oh, the joys of being a mother!

Anyhow, everyone is now fever free and I'm playing catch up. Remember all of the New Year resolutions I made? Yeah, so I was absolutely derailed last week. Now I'm back in the saddle and working my way up to full speed.

Hope all is well with you and your families!

Quick Update

2009-01-24T10:04:00.003-06:00

I haven't been around much this week because I've been busy with two sick kids. Jackson started running a fever Monday night, accompanied by coughing, congestion, loss of appetite, and GI issues, and still has it today. Hana came down with the same thing Thursday morning and still has a fever as well. We went to the doctor, who thinks it's most likely just a virus. So, we've been trapped at home, unable to go ANYWHERE (other than the doctor's office) all week. Yeah, I'm absolutely going stir crazy.

And did I mention that my husband has had to work crazy hours this week? So he hasn't been around during the week, and he even has to work this weekend (both today and tomorrow). Of all the weeks, it had to be this one!

Hope you've had a better week than I'm having, and hopefully I'll be back next week (in a much improved mood)!

Run/Walk for CHD Awareness

2009-01-22T11:57:00.003-06:00

I wanted to let my Houston-area readers know about a 5k Run/3K Walk being sponsored by and benefiting It's My Heart, an organization that supports and advocates for individuals affected by Congenital Heart Defects. The event takes place Saturday, February 21st.

If you felt left out of the marathon this past weekend, here's your chance to participate in an event that won't require any training! (And if you did participate in the marathon, then you're already in great shape to run the 5k!)

Why support this cause? Consider this...

According to the March of Dimes, Congenital Heart Defects are the #1 birth defect and the #1 cause of birth-related deaths. The Children's Heart Foundation states that nearly twice as many children die from Congenital Heart Defects in the United States each year than from all forms of childhood cancer combined.

And I have one more personal reason: my son is affected by a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD), Patent Ductus Arteriosus (PDA), and a dilated aortic root (aortic aneurysm).

Fortunately, my son's heart is currently stable with medication. Many other children aren't as lucky. On behalf of those children and their families, and all individuals living with a CHD, please consider supporting this great cause.

P.S. Can't participate but still want to donate? Click here. And for my non-local readers who are affected by a CHD, click here to find an It's My Heart chapter in your area.

I Have Something In Common With The Presidents

2009-01-19T10:01:00.002-06:00

Obviously, there has been much press coverage of all things presidential lately, as we prepare to inaugurate a new president. One of the stories I've seen from several different news sources concerns presidential aging. Because of the tremendous stress that accompanies the most powerful job in our country, you'll read that presidents tend to age two years for every one year they are in office.

Various news sources online have slideshows with before and after pictures of former presidents. I even saw one that showed a current picture of President-elect Obama with a sketch of how he might look 4 years from now (FYI, not bad, just a bit more gray hair).

Now it just so happens that concurrent with reading these stories the past few weeks, I have also discovered a new internet phenomenon: Facebook. Yes, I know that I am the last person to discover this incredible site for staying connected with people. I've been a bit preoccupied the last few years!

Anyhow, as I've enjoyed seeing photos of so many familiar faces - old friends from high school, college, childhood friends - I continue to be struck by one fact over and over again. These people look GREAT! I mean these are some really beautiful people. Flawless skin, glossy hair, trendy clothes, fabulous figures, carefree smiles - these people, who are in their mid-30's, haven't aged at all.

I look in my own mirror and I see a figure that is far less toned and nowhere near as perky as it was 10 years ago, hair that has been cut in the same all-one-length-because-it's-easiest style for quite some time now, skin that is desperately in need of oh, any kind of skincare regimen, and (gasp!) fine lines emerging between my eyebrows? What is this?? I'm 32!

And then I started to make the connection. I'm like a president. I've been in "office" for almost a full term now (Jackson will be 4 in March), and it's been a challenging four years. I've encountered numerous struggles, been forced to make difficult decisions, and faced the never-ending task of peace-keeping in this house. I have lived with the constant threat of terror (have you seen Jackson angry?). I have led the clean-up effort following numerous natural disasters (involving all manners of bodily fluid). I haven't always been popular with those on the other side of the table (doctors, insurance companies, public school special education personnel), and often I haven't even been popular with the (two) members of my own party. Heck, I've even had shoes thrown at me (as well as toys, books, food, etc).

So, there you have it folks. That's my excuse: Presidential Aging. Alright, since I'm not actually a president, let's just take the "p" off and call it Residential Aging. Anyone else want to claim that?

And, since I want to be a good sport, here are my before and after photos.

Before kids and pregnancy (these were taken in 2003 and 2004):

Don't ask about the pink shirt. I have no explanation. Suffice it to say, that is no longer in my closet.

And here is me now:

Not bad, just more mature, right?

One Sale You Don't Want To Miss

2009-01-17T20:27:00.004-06:00

Consider this an advance Money Monday. (And I really should have posted this yesterday, but I forgot. Sorry!)

Right now through Monday (Jan. 19th) , Old Navy is having the sale of all sales. They have this clearance sale once or twice a year, but they never do any advance advertising to let you know about it. Anyhow, it's going on right now. If you go to an Old Navy store, you'll find items in every department labeled with orange stickers and a clearance price. Through Monday, you'll get an additional 50% off the clearance price.

It works online, too, but it's not advertised online. Just go to any department and click on clearance. Add clearance items to your cart. When you're ready to check out, enter the promotion code: EXTRA50 to save an additional 50%. (And be sure to start your shopping at Upromise.com or Big Crumbs or the program of your choice to earn a little cash back on your purchase.)

I was able to purchase denim capris for myself (pictured above) for $2.49, corduroy pants for Jackson for $1.99, a nice, heavy sweater for Jackson for $3.99, pajamas for both kids for $1.99/pair, socks for $0.39/pair, and more! So, hurry over to Old Navy or Old Navy.com - only two more sale days!

A Big Step For Me (and Jackson)

2009-01-15T22:20:00.001-06:00

Tonight I experienced one of my finest parenting moments thus far. Seriously. Now, what I'm about to describe may not seem like a big deal to most people, but I'm hoping that a few of you who either know our family personally or have a special needs child yourself can understand my bittersweet joy (does that make sense?) over tonight's events.

John was working late so getting the kids ready for bed and into bed was all up to me. We went through our typical routine, I put Hana to bed, and then went to Jackson's room to put him to bed. I turned off his light, said his prayer, put him in bed, pulled up the covers, kissed him goodnight and then turned and left the room, leaving out (intentionally) one VERY important step: the pacifier.

Jackson has had a life-long relationship with the pacifier. He's found comfort from that item since he was an infant. The dependable paci has been to see countless doctors with us, accompanied us on every blood draw or IV prick, and journeyed with us anytime Jackson has faced a big change in routine. It has a way of soothing him unlike anything else. We've worked over the years to wean Jackson off of the pacifier during the day, but haven't even attempted night time. He needs that pacifier to sleep. It's truly medicinal for him.

Now, we know (and his dentist has emphatically agreed) that we need to get rid of the pacifier. And we will. But, that's actually not the point of tonight's story.

In just the last couple of months, I've started insisting that Jackson use words each night to tell us he wants his pacifier. I offer him prompts (either signs or verbal prompts), but he has to say the words "I want paci, please" before he can have it.

As background, Jackson's teacher told me several months ago that Jackson is too prompt-dependent. She said that he would have to make a lot of progress in both communicating on his own and following directions without prompts in order to be in an inclusion class in school. We've been slowly working on that.

So, tonight was really more about my trying to teach him to use words to express his desires rather than my getting rid of the pacifier. I pretended tonight that I had totally forgotten about the pacifier. I never said a word about it. My thinking was, eventually he will ask for it (unprompted), and then I'll give it to him.

After I'd been out of the room for about one minute, Jackson came out. He just stood there looking at me. I accompanied him back to bed and again tucked him in without his pacifier. This repeated itself over and over. At some point, I started asking him what was wrong, why he couldn't sleep, etc, but he wouldn't answer. He just whined and moaned a little. As I put him in bed I could see him looking all around for his pacifier. He looked under his pillow, under his blanket. But he never used words or signs to ask me for it. He just kept coming out and looking at me with an expression that said, "Don't you know what I need? I'm so tired and I need this to sleep. Please! "

He looked so sad. It was pitiful. I really wanted to cave in and give it to him. But I had a bigger picture in mind. I know that he has to learn to communicate. He will not get far in this world using grunts and groans and pointing to express his desires.

After about the ninth episode of him coming out of his room, I got even meaner. I put him back in bed and told him it was time to go to bed and if he got up again, I would put him in time out. I again asked if anything was wrong or if he needed anything. He held out his hand but was silent. So again I kissed him, said good night, and told him not to come out again.

And you know what he did? He went to sleep. For the first time in almost four years, my little boy went to sleep without a pacifier.

Oh, so many emotions! I was thrilled at that accomplishment, but also a bit sad that he never told me in words what he so badly wanted. I know he can say those words, why wouldn't he say them? I also felt mean and cruel, like I was punishing him for not being able to communicate well.

But, for the most part, I felt like a good parent. I felt like I had taken a big step in pushing him toward independence. If he is ever going to function independently, he will have to communicate with others. He can't always depend on having me there to read his mind and give him what he wants or tell others what he wants. And this journey toward independence is likely to include many more instances of my being "mean" and my blinking back tears as he looks up at me with that sad expression as if to say, "Why aren't you helping me?" Because he won't see that I am helping him.

So, I'm really quite proud tonight. I have babied my sweet boy for many years. But he's not a baby anymore. And tonight I took my first difficult, tentative step in acknowledging that.

Oh, and the unbelievable fact that he's sleeping right now without a pacifier? That's just the sweetest possible icing on the cake!

Caregivers' Rebates

2009-01-12T14:08:00.004-06:00

Shortly after I first started this blog (back when no one was actually reading), I told you about the Caregivers Marketplace rebate program. Since the forms for the program said it expired 12/31/08, I was curious to see if the program would continue. It has!

Caregivers Marketplace is simply a rebate program for caregivers. It offers small rebates on certain items that you may buy if you are taking care of an infant or toddler, a special needs child, a disabled adult, or someone who is elderly. Rebates are offered on items like Huggies diapers and Pull-ups, Balmex, Cottonelle moist wipes, Depends and Poise products, Nature Made vitamins, Ensure, and more. Most of the rebates are $0.75 or $1.00 per item, and you must submit receipts for at least 5 products at a time. But if you're regularly buying these products already, it's not hard to just set the receipts aside and send them in every once in a while. You won't get rich, but at least you'll get a few dollars back!

In Case You Missed It

2009-01-09T16:53:00.004-06:00

One of the best parts of writing this blog is the ability to connect with other parents of special needs children. Every time I post a question about an issue I'm having, I'm answered with wonderfully helpful suggestions and advice. (Thank you!!) I also enjoy reading the blogs of other parents of special needs children. I love reading their anecdotes, laughing with them at the humor in the lives, and being inspired by the brave way they are facing their challenges.

One blog post in particular caught my attention this week and I wanted to share it with you in case you missed it. Katy (aka Funny Girl) wrote this beautifully honest post. It's one I know you'll relate to and be inspired by. So, take a minute to hop over and read that.

Have a great weekend!

She Answered

2009-01-08T13:01:00.008-06:00

For many months now, we as a family have been subjected to Jackson's tantrums. We've all been hit or kicked or pushed. It bothers me, of course, if he acts aggressively toward me or John. But it bothers me infinitely more to see him act that way toward his little sister and then see her do nothing about it.

For months she has been pushed, kicked, hit, and had toys and food snatched away from her. Often she will cry when this happens and she'll even tell me what happened, but she has never retaliated back in any way toward Jackson. (It's probably worth mentioning here, lest you think we're awful parents, that we are doing everything we can to try to stop this behavior of Jackson's. He is always disciplined when he acts this way and this is the main reason we started taking him to see a behavioral therapist.)

It's pained me to watch Hana sit there and not try to defend herself, but on the other hand I was never going to encourage her to act aggressively back toward Jackson!

So yesterday we were at the grocery store, the children sitting next to each other in the bench seat of one of those "car" grocery carts. The bakery manager saw us and gave each of the kids a free cookie. All was well for several aisles. And then I noticed that Hana still had half of her cookie left while Jackson was taking his last bite. Sensing there could be trouble ahead (because we've been down this road many times), I knelt down and spoke with Jackson about how nice it was that he and Hana got cookies, that I was glad he enjoyed his cookie, and made sure he understood that Hana was still eating her cookie and that he was not to touch it. He promised not to touch it.

I turned around to get eggs and I heard Hana begin to cry and scream "Aason, no!" Then I heard Jackson (aka "Aason") begin to scream. As they both continued to wail, I unbuckled Hana and picked her up, noticing she now had a fourth of her cookie in her hand and Jackson had the other fourth in his hand. Jackson continued sobbing and I assumed he was just mad he hadn't gotten the entire remaining portion of the cookie. I placed Hana in the top portion of the cart by me. And as I sat her down I noticed her other hand - her little fist tightly held a clump of blond curls.

She had finally responded.

I'll be honest, I didn't want to discipline her for that. But reluctantly I did stop and tell her that I understood she was mad that Jackson took her cookie but she couldn't pull his hair. And I told Jackson that I was sorry she pulled his hair, but he could not take food away from her. And we went on in peace with the two of them separated. (Note: this is how they'll be sitting in the grocery cart from now on.)

So, for those of you who have more than one child, special needs or not, how do you handle this? Do you ever turn a blind eye to one child defending himself against the other, or is every act of aggression, no matter how it was provoked, a punishable offense?

I am definitely more of the latter opinion, but I can't help but wonder, if she responded back a few times to his aggressive behavior, would he finally get the message?

Thoughts?

Sometimes You Have To Wave The White Flag

2009-01-06T10:20:00.003-06:00

As one of my 2009 resolutions is to work with Jackson more on potty training, I decided to really do a big potty training push over the holiday break.

I had everything: the books, the videos, the gender-neutral doll that wets, the training pants, the potty seat, the salty snacks and novelty drinks, the stickers for rewards. We were set to go.

But things didn't work out quite like I'd planned. Obviously, I understand that it takes Jackson much longer than other children to learn new concepts; I didn't expect him to be potty trained in one day.

What I did expect was he would at least have some success, a few experiences we could build on. Not so much. He never went a single time in the potty. He sat on the potty over and over. We read books, sang songs, but nothing. It was just accident after accident. And most times, he didn't even tell me he'd had an accident.

On New Year's Day, as I was putting on his fifth pair of pants and realized it wasn't even 11:00am, I had to acknowledge that this was not working. He simply was not ready. He does not have the necessary awareness of his body to be able to potty train at this time.

So, I had to give up. For now. Maybe I'll try again over spring break or next summer. I'm not sure he will ever show the typical signs of readiness. I think it will just take us trying every few months to see if we make any progress.

I'm not really sure why, but I have to admit it bothers me that I have a child who is almost four who is nowhere close to being potty-trained. I realize he is not a typical child. Maybe somewhere in my heart I still want him to appear to be a typical child. I don't want him to be the only child in his class wearing diapers.

But emotions aside, I have to accept that the situation is what it is. I cannot force him to be ready. I cannot expect him to operate on my timetable. I am not in control.

Sometimes you just have to surrender.

Visit 5 Minutes for Special Needs for more Try This Tuesday posts.

Tracking Medical Expenses

2009-01-05T16:39:00.004-06:00

I've mentioned before that our medical expenses are going to be through the roof this year. As such, for the first time, we will probably qualify for the medical expense deduction (as a reminder, you can only deduct the amount of medical expenses that are greater than 7.5% of your Adjusted Gross Income). We will also use up the $5k we're putting in our healthcare flexible spending account (FSA).

So, I'm going to be a bit of a fanatic about tracking our medical expenses. For those of you who find yourself in a similar situation, or even for those of you who have less in medical expenses but want to keep track of them for FSA reimbursement, I thought I'd share with you how I set up a simple spreadsheet to keep track of these.

My spreadsheet only consists of two tabs. The first is for itemized expenses and the second for mileage. On the first, I have the following columns:

Date
Item (here I would type copay, medical expense, prescription, parking fee, therapy expense, etc)
Physician/Provider
Amount
Reimbursed By: (I would indicate here if the expense was reimbursed either by our FSA or by insurance if I filed the claim myself)
Amount Reimbursed
Unreimbursed Amount

The unreimbursed amount (simply the total amount less the reimbursed amount) is totaled at the bottom to keep me updated of our actual out of pocket expenses.

The second tab tracks our mileage. Tabs here include:

Date
Location To/From
Total Mileage
Amount

The amount is calculated by multiplying the mileage by $0.24 (the 2009 mileage rate for medical travel), and totaled at the bottom. I am not submitting mileage for reimbursement from our FSA, but if you plan to, you can just add the same last 2 columns as on the first tab.

The sum of the mileage total and the unreimbursed expenses from the first tab will determine the medical expenses we're eligibile to deduct this year.

By having the spreadsheet set up, all I have to do is type a quick line item each time we have an expense (which will be at least 3 days/week). Here's hoping the spreadsheet will keep me on top of this!

Nine Resolutions for 2009

2009-01-02T09:24:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year! I hope you enjoyed your holidays!

Did you make any resolutions? I did, which is unusual. I never make New Year's resolutions but I decided to this year and I wrote them down so that I would be reminded of the areas I want to work on. There were actually many areas I wanted to improve upon but I limited myself to nine, which seemed appropriate for the year.

So, here are my nine goals to work toward:

1) Exercise more.
2) Read the Bible more.
3) Cook more.
4) Spend less.
5) Be on time.
6) Be a better planner (which will help with #5).
7) Make more of a conscious effort to work with Jackson on speech, potty training, and behavioral issues.
8) Make more of a conscious effort to work with Hana on new concepts like letters and on expanding her vocabulary and using sentences.
9) Not to feel stressed when I fail to meet any of the above resolutions.

Now in order to accomplish these goals, I've decided to give up sleeping. Just kidding. Seriously, I don't know how I'm going to meet them. I've done great this past week because we haven't had to go anywhere! Come Monday, when we resume dashing around town to PT, OT, speech therapies, behavioral therapy, Mother's Day Out, and so on, it will be much more difficult.

There were several items that didn't make the list. Being more neat and tidy didn't make the cut (sorry, John!), neither did finishing the baby books or putting all of our pictures in albums, and neither did blogging. That doesn't mean I'm giving up blogging. It just means I'm moving it a bit further down the priority list. These other items are just too important to me.

So, I will continue to write this blog and I hope you'll continue to visit and read! But you won't find me here every day and I won't be rigidly sticking to the weekly schedule that I was trying to do last year. I will continue to do the same type of posts (Money Monday, Try This Tuesday, Thank You Thursday, etc), just not every day. And I will do my best to bring you stories, information, inspiration, and tips that I think might be helpful to families with special needs children.

With that said, I'll sign off for the weekend, as my in-laws are coming in town for a belated Christmas celebration. I'll be back next week!

P.S. I'd love to hear any changes or resolutions you're making this year! Leave a comment or link us to your blog if you wrote about it.

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-24T14:05:00.003-06:00

I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas (or a wonderful holiday break if you don't celebrate Christmas)! I hope you are able to enjoy time with your family and loved ones. May God grant you peace and joy throughout the holiday season and New Year!

Sweet Story

2008-12-20T08:46:00.002-06:00

A little girl with cerebral palsy gets to dance the Nutcracker with the Joffrey Ballet at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. Stories like this just warm my heart...

http://video.yahoo.com/network/100000054?v=4106464&l=3434132

Thank You for Showing Me The Spirit of Christmas

2008-12-18T10:33:00.007-06:00

I told you yesterday I was not been able to get a Christmas photo of my kids together. I tried several times then gave up.

And then last week, I noticed a sign up sheet at the private therapy place where Jackson goes. It said that the owner's mother would be there taking pictures for two days, and you could sign up for a time slot. So, figuring this was my absolute best shot at getting a picture of them together (since Jackson was familiar with this place and wouldn't run around acting crazy), and assuming that if he did run around yelling and screaming, no one would care since they deal with kids like that all day long, I signed us up.

The day arrived last week and I hesitated to even go. For one, I didn't expect good results. And two, you've seen their matching Christmas outfits right? The cute short-sleeved outfits (Jackson's is a shortall). Well, these pictures just happened to fall on the day it was SNOWING. But, I bundled them up as best I could and off we went.

And it went great! The photographer had everything set up and the whole photo shoot only took about 5 minutes. The other therapists kept the kids looking at the camera with toys and bubbles. And I was able to get this picture:

My sweet children, together! I was so happy. When I asked the photographer (who I believe is named Sandy) how much this would cost and how I should go about getting the pictures, she replied, "There's no cost. And I'll print out some of the pictures for you and make a CD with all of them so you can print them out, too. I'll have it all up here for you when you come in next week." I just stared at her for a second and then gave her a hug. She smiled and replied "Merry Christmas."

Merry Christmas, indeed. This kind woman, a total stranger to me, sacrificed her time and used her talents to create a very special gift just for me, and gave it to me freely.

That is the essence of Christmas, isn't it? A very special gift, freely given to us. The ultimate sacrifice. A gift given to take on our sins and forever restore us with our Creator. A gift that came in the form of a baby named Jesus.

Thank you, Sandy, for your wonderful gift to me and for pointing me in the direction of the true gift of Christmas. You beautifully exemplified the spirit of Christmas!

Joy On Their Faces

2008-12-17T11:21:00.006-06:00

I never pulled off getting a Christmas picture of the two kids together, but I did manage to snap these individual shots. Seeing their joyful smiles is, to me, the picture of Christmas!

For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

A CVS Preview

2008-12-15T14:19:00.001-06:00

I've mentioned before how much I love CVS. The last time I went, I noticed on my receipt my "Year to Date Savings" amount is now over $2,000. Seriously.

Now, prices at CVS are higher and I've bought many items (that I wouldn't have ordinarily purchased) just because I could get them free, so that explains some of that total savings amount. But still - that's a lot of money saved!

So, I thought I'd give you a preview of the CVS savings coming up next weekend. I realize this is several days early, but who knows what might come up this week that would prevent me from getting this post written. If you're not a regular CVS shopper, this might be a good time to start.

Sunday and Monday, Dec. 21 and 22nd, CVS is having a 2-day sale in which you can get 17 items free after extra bucks. I'll admit I wasn't as excited about these items as I was about the Black Friday items, but there are still a few I'll try to pick up...

- Arm & Hammer Essentials Starter Kit, $2.99 with $2.99 in Extra Bucks (limit 5); I'll use the $1 coupon from the 12/14 SmartSource insert.
- Listerine Antiseptic 16.9oz, $2.99 with $2.99 in Extra Bucks (limit 5)
- Excedrin Express Gels 20 ct, $3.99 with $3.99 in Extra Bucks (limit 1); I'll use this $2 coupon
- Halls Naturals 25ct, $2.59 with $2.59 in Extra Bucks (limit 1); I'll use the $0.50 coupon from the 12/7 SmartSource insert
- Zantac 150 8ct, $4.99 with $4.99 Extra Bucks; I'll use the $1 coupon and the mail-in rebate (for $4.99) from the 11/9 SmartSource insert
- Thermacare neck to arm heatwrap (trial size), $2.49 with $2.49 Extra Bucks
- L'Oreal HIP Metallic Eye Shadow Duos, $6.99 with $6.99 Extra Bucks; I'll use the $2 coupon from the 10/5 Red Plum insert
- Sally Hanson Lacquer Shine Nail Color, $5.99 with $5.99 Extra Bucks (limit 2)

So, how does this work? If I buy one of each of the above items and use the coupons and rebate I mentioned, I will spend $21.53 and get each of the above items plus $33.02 in Extra Bucks. (FYI - Extra Bucks work like a gift card at CVS). And truth be told, I have $13.06 in Extra Bucks right now which I'll use, so I'll only pay $8.47, get the items plus $33 back. Not bad!

I give you all of these details in hopes that you can plan to go and take advantage of these deals yourself. And be sure and check out the CVS flyer on Sunday for the other free items - it looks like there are several weight loss and energy-drink type items, in case you're interested.

By the way, if you'd really like to minimize your out-of-pocket expense, you can break up your purchases into more than one transaction and use the Extra Bucks from the first to pay for the second, etc. Just another option.

Relaxed Blogging

2008-12-12T10:35:00.006-06:00

So my blogging has been sporadic and random lately. But instead of apologizing this time, I'm just going to go ahead and say that's how it's going to be the rest of this month.

We've had so much going on. Jackson's speech therapy at two schools, OT, a new time for PT, trying to adjust Hana's Little Gym class because of the new PT time, the new behavioral therapist, Hana's birthday, doctor and dentist appointments, and so on. Then let's add to that all of the Christmas preparations: buying gifts, decorating, trying to remember to get plates and napkins for Hana's Mother's Day Out party, cookies for Jackson's, some other Christmas snack for his speech party at one school, books to give as gifts for his speech party at the other school. And I haven't even started on my Christmas cards yet.

Does your December feel the same way? I imagine it does for a lot of you.

So, I hereby release myself of any obligation to stick to regularly scheduled postings until the end of this month. I will still be posting, but probably not everyday. And it may be random.

In keeping with that spirit, I also invite you to release yourself of any unnecessary obligations you've placed on yourself and just enjoy this wonderful festive time of year.

P.S. If you've been bogged down in the frenetic racing around of the holiday season and need something to make you laugh, check out this post by Funny Girl. It's over the top hilarious!

Our Magical Winter Night

2008-12-10T22:54:00.009-06:00

Okay, so I'm very late with today's picture post, but I couldn't go to bed without sharing these photos with you.

This evening it started snowing at our house. Now for those of you who read that sentence and didn't gasp, let me remind you that I live in Houston. Technically, in a suburb south of Houston. It does not snow here. In the 10 years I've lived here, I have never seen it snow.

But tonight was different. Big, beautiful, white snowflakes came cascading down and continued to fall for hours.

I was so excited that I insisted the kids go out and experience it. Hana protested "Cold!" and "No like it!", while Jackson just cried and refused to walk out into it. But I was determined. I even grabbed my camera (which is new and I don't have a clue how to work it yet) and managed to snap a few photos...

Unfortunately this last photo is the only one I could get of Jackson. But this was a very new (and confusing) experience for him, so that's okay.

I hope all of my Houston area readers were able to go outside and experience our wonderful winter night!

My Guide to Potty Training

2008-12-09T11:39:00.001-06:00

I'm back from a wonderful weekend spent with family and friends celebrating Hana's birthday.

Speaking of Hana, I don't think I ever shared with you that she is potty trained!! I told you I was going to start on Thanksgiving day. I did, and she quickly adapted to it and hasn't had a single accident since the Monday after Thanksgiving! I know some of you thought I was crazy trying to potty train a child who wasn't quite two (and I seriously considered that possibility myself), but I guess she was ready. Now she tells me every time she needs to go pee-pee or poo-poo and even stays dry through her naps and overnight (which means she often wakes up in the middle of the night yelling that she needs to go potty, but that's okay).

So, I thought I would share with you the tools I used to assist with her potty training. (Note: this is a long post so if you are not concerned with potty training right now, you probably want to stop reading here.) A couple of disclaimers before I start:
- I am more convinced than ever that potty training has everything to do with the individual child and their desire and readiness to learn about using the potty.
- Because of the previous point, no one method will work perfectly for every child.
- My daughter is a typically developing child with no learning differences or disabilities. Although I plan to use the same approach, method, and tools when I train Jackson, I fully anticipate a much longer timeline and additional challenges when training him.

The approach I used was based on the book Toilet Training in Less Than A Day by Nathan Azrin. This book was recommended to me by one of the directors at a special needs school I visited. Azrin originally researched and created a method for toilet training individuals with disabilities and then applied his method with much success to typically developing children. There is an appendix in the back that discusses training special needs children, but really the same approach is applied with minor modifications.

I must tell you this book was published in 1974, so it is quite dated. I actually found much of the outdated concepts to be humorous, and I just ignored the material that wasn't relevant and modified anything I felt needed to be changed. If you're looking for something more modern, I understand there are other books with very similar approaches that are far more updated. I will say that the 1974 version presents a very intense, almost strict approach (for instance, when a child has an accident, they are supposed to help clean up then "practice" going to the potty 10 times in a row). If that type of approach isn't for you, then check out some of the more modern books.

As far as the potty itself, I chose not to go with a little potty and instead have used this potty insert on the regular toilet. I was thinking more of Jackson when I made this decision - he has difficulty applying knowledge from one situation to another very similar situation, so I felt it would be easier to teach him on the toilet that he would be using indefinitely. Of course, I've placed a stool in front of the toilet to help Hana to get on and off.

When teaching Hana, I used a doll that wet. I understand there are some great, anatomically-correct, potty training dolls out there (like Potty Patty and Potty Scotty), but since I have a boy and a girl, I would have needed to buy each doll and spend more than I wanted on them. Instead, I went with the more basic Baby Born doll. This doll just has a hole from which she wets and she's bald, so she's pretty gender neutral. Okay, maybe she looks a bit like a girl, but you can bet I'll be pulling her out again, putting a blue shirt on her and using her/him to teach Jackson!

I also gave her a couple of books. The first was The Potty Book - For Girls (we also have the boy version). This is a great book for introducing the concept, especially for a child who may take a while to potty train. We've been reading it to Jackson for many months now. On the other hand, we used the girl version of The Potty Book with Hana for one day and now have no use for it (I think it'll be going to Half Price Books!) The other book I used, It's Potty Time (for girls) (also comes in a boy version) is a cute little book and it has a button the child can press to hear a flushing sound. Please note: the flushing sound is very loud, so if your child is sensitive to noise, this may not be a good choice.

When training Hana, I had her wear Gerber Training Pants. These are cotton underpants that allow the child to feel wet, but are more absorbent then regular underwear. Now if the child has a big accident, these will get soaked, and yes they will leak! But for small accidents where they start to go then stop themselves, these are great. When I sent her to school the first week and when we had to go other places, I had her wear Dri Days Training Pants from One Step Ahead. These are VERY absorbent training pants, but they still have the look of panties rather than diapers. They aren't cheap, but they really work for their intended purpose.

Other tools I used: a big poster I hung in the bathroom with her picture on it, stickers to put on the poster every time she went potty, salty snacks, and novelty drinks (like blue Kool-aid).

One last item I should mention. Hana is a tiny little girl, so the big toilets in public scare her. We've used the Fisher-Price Potty On-the-Go when out and about and she's done great with it. It's super easy to set up and clean up, and folds into a bag that you carry. Worth checking out if you'll be travelling or think your child may have concerns about public toilets.

For more great (and less verbose) tips, visit Try This Tuesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

Be Back Next Week

2008-12-04T12:58:00.002-06:00

Friends, I had a Thank You Thursday post planned, but I'm just too busy today. And I probably won't be around tomorrow either as I'll be preparing for Hana's birthday party and welcoming family into town. Thanks for understanding. It seems these last few weeks have been crazy and I haven't been able to write as much nor visit your blogs as much. Hopefully life will calm down soon!

On the Eve of Her Second Birthday

2008-12-03T10:27:00.013-06:00

I take a moment to look back...

M.I.A. Again

2008-12-02T13:51:00.002-06:00

No regularly scheduled post today. Jackson's therapy schedule has gotten switched around (which was not of my choosing) and we've ended up with 2 1/2 hours of speech (split between two different schools), 1 hour of PT, and a 2 hour evaluation session with the behavioral therapist all in one day today. So, this is the first time I've been home today and I'm leaving again in 10 minutes.

I'm sure I'll go into more detail later, but I think the behavioral therapist will be great and she has already given me several good ideas to try. We're going to start seeing her once a week (because we don't have enough on our schedule, right?)!

If you have a blog, Trish has suggested you post any great holiday tips you have. What a great idea!

Cyber Monday

2008-12-01T13:49:00.003-06:00

As I've told you before, I'm a big fan of online shopping. So, my head is spinning with all of the Black Friday deals we've seen over the weekend and today's Cyber Monday deals. Don't worry, I haven't gotten carried away, but I have enjoyed browsing all of the deals to be had. Since I'm a little pressed for time today, I'm just going to mention a few Cyber Monday deals that were of interest to me. I'd love to hear about the great holiday shopping deals you've found, too, so please leave a comment with the bargains you've come across!

Amazon has a great 3-day toy sale going on. All Melissa & Doug items are 40% off; check out this Melissa & Doug Deluxe Latches Board to work on fine motor skills or this Melissa and Doug See & Spell puzzle for preschoolers learning their letters. And if you can keep a secret, check out this amazing gift my kids will be getting from their grandparents this year!

Ann Taylor - 30% off entire purchase plus free shipping; enter code MONDAY30.

Bath & Body Works - 25% off entire purchase online (including sale items); enter code 25PERCENT

Old Navy - 20% off entire purchase; enter code SAVENOW

Piperlime - 20% off entire purchase (and you always get free shipping and returns); enter code MONDAY

Stride Rite - 15% off a purchase of $75 or more plus free shipping with purchase of 2 pairs

Walgreens - Save $5 on a $25 purchase with this coupon today and tomorrow only (in store and online)

And I can always depend on Upromise to keep me updated with the best deals. You can find tons of Cyber Monday deals listed here.

Happy shopping!

How Was Your Thanksgiving?

2008-11-28T10:19:00.002-06:00

I hope you all had a lovely holiday yesterday. Ours was very nice, not perfect mind you, but nice.

The misses: clogging the garbage disposal with sweet potato peels, burning the ham (and I don't just mean the outside, no it was like jerky - we had to throw the whole thing away), and of course, eating two hours later than planned because of the two things I just mentioned.

The hits: Jackson and Daddy having fun at a nearby park while Hana and Mommy worked on potty training, Hana starting to catch on to potty training and waking up from her 2 1/2 hour nap DRY and asking to go potty, and all four of us having dinner together at the same time (and no one complaining about the lack of meat)!

Overall, I think it was a great day. Perfect is overrated!

Have a good weekend!

Thanksgiving Before Kids

2008-11-26T08:50:00.010-06:00

Sorry I was absent yesterday. It's been a busy week, even though we haven't had any of our regularly scheduled activities. I've been preparing for tomorrow.

We're not having a huge Thanksgiving feast. We're not having any extended family or friends over. We're having a pretty traditional Thanksgiving meal - just the four of us. AND we're potty training Hana! She's shown lots of interest lately and is successful on the potty, so we've decided tomorrow to put her in underwear and really focus on training her. We had considered training Jackson first, but he's just not ready. We'll try with Hana and if it doesn't work, then so be it, we'll try again in several months. But if it does, then perhaps Jackson will want to imitate his little sister!

As I've been preparing, buying the books and the stickers and what not, I've thought about how much our lives have changed in the past 5 or 6 years. As an illustration, here is how John and I spent Thanksgiving in 2002...

Yes, we spent that Thanksgiving in Hawaii on the beautiful island of Kauai. No thoughts of potty training, or discipline issues, or school decisions, or heart defects. Life was a bit simpler then. But just as I am so thankful for the life we got to lead then, I wouldn't trade anything for the life we're able to lead now!

For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

Saving Money on Everyday Items

2008-11-24T08:51:00.003-06:00

I recently received an email from a reader asking me how I saved money on toilet paper. Rather than respond to the email, I decided to post my answer here. Not necessarily because I think all of you are looking to save on toilet paper (though maybe you are!), but because the approach I use for saving on this item is the same one I use for many items.

So, how do I save?

First, I don't do the obvious: buy the cheapest toilet paper. With this item (and many others), I stick to name brands. Why? I think the quality is better. In this case, when you have stronger, better quality tissue, you don't use as much so one roll lasts longer.

When I go to buy toilet paper, my first choice is to combine coupons with a sale. Toilet paper coupons are usually low value coupons, perhaps $0.25 or $0.35. Anytime I have low value coupons, I try to use these at a store that will double or triple coupons. Where I live, both Kroger and Randall's will double coupons up to $0.50 and triple up to $0.35.

I actually bought toilet paper last week, and here's what I did. I went to Kroger where a 6-pk double roll of Cottonelle was on sale for $5.49 (regular price $8.43). I used a $0.25 clipped coupon which tripled. Before I went, I had also loaded a coupon onto my Kroger card from Cellfire for $0.50 off Cottonelle. So, my final cost was $4.24 (50% less than the regular price).

Another option I might use for saving money on toilet paper is to purchase it with "free money" at CVS or Walgreens. What am I talking about? Let me briefly explain and I can go into more detail in a later post if anyone is interested.

CVS usually has items advertised as being Free after Extra Bucks. I'll often use a coupon to purchase the item at a discounted price and then get the full amount back in Extra Bucks (which work like a gift card at CVS). For instance, this week CVS has Maybelline liquid foundation for $8.99 with $8.99 in Extra Bucks. I could use a $3 coupon to purchase that item for $5.99 and get $8.99 back. So I just made $3 in free money which can be applied toward other items in the store I need (like toilet paper, perhaps).

Walgreens has similar deals with what they call Register Rewards. They also have a rebate program where you can get items free after rebate each month. If you agree to get your rebate in the form of a Walgreen's gift card, they'll give you a 10% bonus. That's free money that can be applied toward other purchases.

Those are a few tips I have. What other ideas do you have for saving on everyday items?

A Dash of Hope Heading into the Weekend

2008-11-21T11:54:00.003-06:00

I wanted to share just a couple of tidbits from this week that have given me hope...

After several unpleasant incidents lately (one of which I mentioned on Tuesday), we have decided it would be best to consult with a behavior therapist concerning some of Jackson's behavior. This idea has been brewing in the back of my head for quite some time, but I've been reluctant for a host of reasons. His behavior over the past week or so has made it clear, though, that this is something that we need help with. I spoke with his teacher at school today who reassured me that it's okay to seek help. It doesn't mean I'm a bad parent or we're doing something wrong. It just means we need someone to help us come up with and implement ideas to help improve Jackson's behavior. Fortunately, one of my dear readers gave me the name of a therapist she used which she highly recommends. (Thanks, WriterGrrl!) And this therapist just happens to be located a few blocks away from where Jackson goes to Mothers Day Out! This gives me hope.

This week my husband and I also visited another private special needs school for Jackson and loved it. We both felt like it would be a wonderful place for him. We spoke with the admissions counselor who felt like Jackson would be a good fit for the school. We've decided to apply and go down the road of having him evaluated to see if they will accept him there. We don't know yet if this is where he will end up or not, and we are praying that if this is the right spot, then God will provide the way for us to pay for it because it is A LOT of money! And we're also praying that if we really can not afford to send him here, then God will either give us the wisdom to see that or just close the door on the opportunity. Either way, the experience has given me hope that we will find a good solution for Jackson's education.

Finally, I spent an hour this morning with Jackson's speech teacher. We've decided to reintroduce PECS. Jackson worked with these last year, but I decided to discontinue them because I felt like he needed to focus more on verbal communication. Now that he understands that he is supposed to use verbal communication, we are going to reintroduce PECS to expand his vocabulary, to allow him to be understood because his articulation is so poor, and to encourage him to begin putting simple sentences together (such as "I want crackers.") Why the sudden change? Because when he was in class on Tuesday, he pointed to the picture sentence on the wall, and as he pointed to each picture he said, "I want to go to play-doh." I am not kidding. His teacher heard him say the whole sentence! I've never heard anything remotely resembling a sentence at home. So, we're going to begin using the pictures at home and see how that goes. This also gives me great hope.

So what gave you hope this week? I'd love to hear about it! And here's hoping you have a great weekend, too!

Thank You Tracy

2008-11-20T10:35:00.004-06:00

About a year ago, I first heard about a woman who was starting a special needs playgroup for young children in our area. I was thrilled, as I had been looking for something exactly like that. I went to the first playgroup and met several other families with special needs children and I also met Tracy, the person responsible for this idea.

Tracy started a non-profit organization, Mom to Mom, Inc., several years ago after navigating the difficult territory of having a child born prematurely. Mom to Mom serves mothers of premature babies and babies with special needs by passing out literature and care packages at local hospitals. About a year ago, she decided to further expand Mom to Mom's services to include a playgroup for special needs children.

We've attended the playgroup regularly since its inception and have met so many wonderful families. I've been privileged to talk with other moms about therapy options, doctors, schools, etc., while Jackson was entertained with an array of toys. Each meeting was perfectly planned by Tracy - she came up with great venues, provided snacks and drinks, distributed a newsletter she'd written, and brought a wonderful assortment of toys, coloring books, etc.

You might think that Tracy was doing this because she herself has a child with special needs, but that's actually not the case. Her daughter who was born prematurely has thrived and is doing very well now. Tracy does have a heart for special needs children, though - she's a middle school Life Skills teacher!

The last few playgroups have not been well attended. Everyone is so busy and people seem to have a hard time fitting this into their schedule. So Tracy has made the decision, which I totally understand, to discontinue the playgroups for now.

Since I won't be seeing you as much to get to tell you in person, Tracy, I wanted to say thank you again for all of your efforts on behalf of children with special needs and children born prematurely. You are an angel and God's light shines so brightly through you! I'm so glad I was given the opportunity to get to know you!

**********

Is there someone you'd like to thank? Write about it then come back and leave your link below!

Old McDonald Had A Pig...

2008-11-19T12:49:00.007-06:00

We finally attempted the Halloween costume redo. Here are my little farmer and pig:

They really wanted to go back outside to go Trick-or-Treating again (and yes, Hana pouted when she realized she wasn't going to get to)!

Yet Another Dilemma

2008-11-18T09:36:00.003-06:00

I had an actual suggestion planned for Try This Tuesday, but something happened this morning that trumps that. So, once again dear friends, I come to you for advice.

I took Jackson to speech this morning at school. We parked in the 4th closest to the door parking spot, so I felt it would be okay for us all to walk in. They each held one of my hands walking in with no problem.

When we were leaving, they also did a good job holding my hands all the way to the car. Then I got to the car and realized I hadn't gotten my keys out, so I attempted to hold both of their hands with one of my hands and use my other hand to get my keys out of my purse. Jackson started to pull to try to get away; I held him tighter. He pulled again and fell down. By this point I'd found my keys and opened the door. I quickly set Hana in the car and reached down to help Jackson up, but it was too late. He took off running in the parking lot. There was another mom leaving speech with her children who had parked three cars down and was getting ready to back out. Jackson ran right behind her large SUV and stopped, and so did my heart.

There is no way she could have seen him, but maybe she heard me scream. Or maybe God just protected him, because I was able to get to him and grab him before she backed out. I carried him back to the car and tried (like I have so many times before) to explain how he cannot run away from Mommy, how he could get hurt very badly, how much it scares Mommy and makes Mommy sad. I was so shaken up I was crying. But none of that seems to register with him. He just responded by pointing to a dog walking by and saying "ga-ga" (his word for dog).

So what should I do? I thought about one of those toddler leashes/harnesses, which I know look awful, but I'm desperate here. Have any of you used them? I know they are really intended for young toddlers, and Jackson is almost four, so I'm not sure they would fit right. Or I can just keep putting him in the stroller, like I do most days of the week, but how will he ever learn to walk along side me and not run away?

Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated!

Charitable Giving - It's Easier Than You Think

2008-11-17T13:15:00.003-06:00

As we enter the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons, many of us take stock of what we have and are reminded of how blessed we truly are. And then we look around and see countless others near and far away who have so very little.

Perhaps you've wanted to give to organizations that support people who are less fortunate, but don't feel you have the money or time for it. Or perhaps you have given to these organizations in the past, but would like to be able to give more. Here are a couple of ways you can easily give to charitable organizations that support those who are less fortunate:

- The most obvious, give your time. Volunteer for one day on the weekend, or one morning when your children are in school. Or ask if there are ways you can help them from home (perhaps with computer work or organizational-type activities like creating file folders).

- Donate personal care items you get for free or almost free. I have taken multiple bags of items to a local organization (Star of Hope) that operates several homeless shelters. And these bags were stuffed fulled of toiletry and personal care items that I got free. How? By taking advantage of deals at CVS (each week they offer Free after Extra Bucks promotions) or Walgreens (every month they have Free after Rebate promotions), or just using coupons in combination with a sale. What kind of items have I found for free? Toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, soap, feminine care products, OTC medications, razors, and much more. And it doesn't take me much more time at all, since I just pick these items up when I'm already at the store. I keep a bag in my closet and just toss them in as I accumulate them. Once the bag is full, I take it over to the shelter.

- Donate non-perishable food items you get for free or almost free. Same as the above except these go to your local food bank (or they may also go to the organization you took your toiletry items to). Again, if you watch your grocery ads, you'll often come across great deals or even items you can get for free with coupons. If it's a non-perishable item your family will not use, consider picking it up anyway and donating it. One local grocery store we have (HEB), frequently runs "Buy this item, get these items free" promotions. If your local grocer has similar deals, this can be a great time to pick up some items free that you may be able to donate.

- Donate household items that you no longer use. Clothes that are no longer worn, linens that you no longer use, board games your children no longer play with all make great donations to a local shelter.

- Look for other creative ways you can help. My mother-in-law knits hats for children around the world in partnership with the Save The Children organization. We have friends who choose to spend their Thanksgiving handing out meals through Meals on Wheels. And I'm sure there are countless other ways you can give of yourself regardless of your budget or time constraints.

I'd love to hear any other creative ways you give to charity. Regardless of whether you choose to give through one of these methods, or you choose to make a financial donation (or both), I hope you consider finding a way to give to those in need this holiday season!

Free Photo Book - Hurry!!

2008-11-14T10:13:00.004-06:00

I'm sure many of you have an easier time than I do getting your children to cooperate for pictures! And I'm sure you have lots of cute photos lying around or sitting on your computer. Well, why not take some of those photos and use them to create a photo book? Right now you can do that FREE courtesy of Oprah and Snapfish !

Visit Oprah's website here and click through to Snapfish to get a FREE 20-page 8" x 11" photo book. But, hurry, you have to click to get your free book credit by 11:59pm (PST) tonight! Once you've added the credit to your Snapfish account, you'll have until Sunday to create and order your book. This would make a great holiday gift! (Thanks, Marlene!)

Thank You For Today

2008-11-13T08:48:00.003-06:00

Today I'm thankful that my husband has taken the day off work to take care of the kids, my Mom has come into town, and she and I are dashing off to a once-a-year, all-day, shopping extravaganza called the Houston Nutcracker Market! Woo-hoo!! So, sorry for the super short post, but I've got some shopping to do (without the kids)!!

Let us know what you're thankful for! Write a post about it then come back and leave your link below.

So Happy Together?

2008-11-12T10:23:00.005-06:00

This is a pretty good indication of how our attempt at taking Christmas card pictures went last week...

Nothing says "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" like crying and pouting, right? We'll be trying again another day!

For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday!

How Do You Deal With This?

2008-11-11T09:33:00.003-06:00

I'm turning the tables around this week for Try This Tuesday and asking you what I should try...

Something has happened in our house recently. Something that we've known was going to happen since the day my daughter was born. Something that we've seen coming for quite some time, but has become overwhelmingly evident in the last few weeks.

Hana, my daughter who will turn 2 in December, has passed up my 3 1/2 year old Jackson developmentally.

Like I said, we knew this was going to happen. We just didn't know when. And now that I'm faced with it, I don't know how to handle it at times.

As an example of their differences, Hana is talking quite a bit now. She can count to ten in English and Spanish, she can sing her ABC's and many other songs, she can take a bite of food and say "no like it" if she doesn't care for it or tell me it's too hot if that is the problem. On the other hand, Jackson doesn't know any numbers or letters, he has never attempted to sing a song, and if he doesn't like something or is frustrated, he'll just scream and offer you no verbal explanation of what's wrong.

So, where I am struggling is wanting to encourage Hana whenever she attempts a new word or shows understanding of a new concept (which seems to happen all the time), and then trying to find an equivalent praise for Jackson.

I never had siblings, so I don't have a good understanding of the need for equality in praises and encouragements. Do I need to offer Jackson a praise every time I offer Hana one? If I don't, will he feel like he's not pleasing Mommy?

And how do I deal with the fact that he gets in trouble so much more than she does? He's constantly disobeying me, kicking and hitting, throwing food, stealing toys away from Hana, getting food out of the pantry and refrigerator when I'm not looking, and the list goes on. So, I'm hyper-aware of the fact that it seems he is getting put in time out over and over again, while Hana is getting praises and encouragement from Mommy over and over again.

Of course, I try my absolute best to praise Jackson any opportunity I get, but with his behavior, it's extremely difficult at times to find praiseworthy items to mention.

I'm trying to be the best mother I can be to BOTH of my children, which means trying to encourage each of them to learn and achieve all that they can. It's difficult, though, with them being so close in age but growing apart developmentally. I have little one-on-one time with either of them. We're usually all together.

So, any thoughts or suggestions you have to offer me would be greatly appreciated!

Money Monday: Save Big With Coupons

2008-11-10T12:59:00.005-06:00

When it comes to saving money at the grocery store or drugstore, don't overlook the very powerful savings effect of coupons. Case in point, take a look at what I purchased last week at Kroger:

I purchased 31 items including 4 packages of yogurt, butter, sour cream, fish, lunch meat, 2 packages of hot dogs, apple juice, mushrooms, potatoes, capers, vegetable oil, shampoo and conditioner, dish soap, Alka Seltzer, storage bags, and more. Want to guess what my total was?

I paid $24.75, but I'll get a $2.50 rebate on one of the items, so in effect, I paid $22.25 for 31 items. And only one item I purchased (the lemon) would regularly be under $1.00. In this one shopping trip, I saved $59.00.

How? Simply by combining coupons with current sales promotions!

If you're not used to shopping with coupons, I'd really encourage you to give it a try. In the coming weeks, I'll be talking more about saving with coupons and will be happy to answer any questions you have.

For today, I'll start by addressing the most obvious question: where do you find coupons?

The best source is your local newspaper. Each Sunday, you'll get two or three inserts with coupons. If you don't want to pay to subscribe to the paper all week, check and see if you can get a Sunday only subscription. That's what we have and we only pay $1 per week.

Another great resource for coupons: the internet. Many companies now offer printable coupons, which can be used just like clipped coupons. And guess what? You don't have to look very far to find some of those coupons because I have now added a printable coupon button to my sidebar. Just click on the arrow beside the words "See all coupons" and you'll get a list which you can scroll through. Simply check which coupons you want and hit print. It's that easy. (And I'll even earn $0.03 for each coupon you print. Of course, it will take 10,000 coupons being printed for me to earn enough to cover the cost of one week of therapy under our new insurance, but every little bit helps, right? So, feel free to print a lot of coupons!)

And there are many other websites from which you can print coupons. The last post I did on my other blog was a collection of those. Feel free to check it out if you're interested.

Okay, I'll be continuing this topic in the weeks to come, as there are many other coupon tips I have to offer. Please feel free to leave me a comment or shoot me an email with any questions you have.

IEP Humor

2008-11-07T10:18:00.003-06:00

I've come across two poems recently about the fun process of IEP's. For those of you who have children in public schools, you'll get a kick out of these...

CC, who is a speech pathologist and participates in many IEP meetings each year, wrote an Ode to the IEP. Go check it out!

And you don't want to miss IEP's According to Dr. Suess over at Still Crazy After All These Years.

Thanks for the laugh, ladies!

Thank You America

2008-11-06T08:10:00.006-06:00

I am thankful today for what we've witnessed in our country this week. Now, that may sound like a surprising statement to those who know me well, because you probably would guess (correctly) that I did not vote for the winning candidate.

Regardless, I am thankful that we live in a country where we are free to choose our president and other leaders. Where every four years we get to reevaluate our leaders and decide who we feel are the best candidates to lead and represent our country.

I am thankful that we can disagree without violence and hatred. I'm thankful that when one candidate loses, he does so graciously and appeals to his supporters to work together with the winning candidate to find solutions that all can agree upon.

It's been said by many, but it's worth repeating again. A few decades ago, this country would not have elected an African American man president. And just a couple of decades before that, we would not have seen a woman's name on a ballot for the position of vice president. Look how far we've come! I'm so thankful that America can learn from it's mistakes and that we as a country continue to make progress in providing opportunities to ALL people.

A few decades ago, it was not uncommon for parents to place a child with a developmental disability in an institution. Many people were just unaware that these children could learn and be productive members of a family if given the right instruction and teaching. Again, we've come so far!

So today I say thank you to all of the members of the Armed Forces who have fought over many years for our freedom. Thank you to all of the citizens who have fought against injustices and have been a voice to the voiceless. Thank you to everyone who strives to make the United States of America a land of freedom, opportunity, and hope.

**********

Is there someone you'd like to thank? Write about it then come back and leave your link below!

A Smile From Both

2008-11-05T10:19:00.005-06:00

If you catch your children climbing on something they're not really supposed to be on, you may find them laughing at their own cleverness. And then you might just get a photo of them both smiling...

Sorry for the grainy picture quality, but if I get a picture of both of them smiling, it's going to get posted!

I hope to have Halloween pics next week. I'm shooting for a full costume redo sometime this week, as Jackson was completely unwilling to have his picture made on October 31st. Wish me luck!

For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

Get Out

2008-11-04T09:49:00.004-06:00

Since we live just south of Houston, Texas, we experience summer weather for about 6 months of the year. No joke. And I'm not talking about about nice sunny days with a breeze. No, we have intense heat and ridiculous humidity, even in the evenings.

But by the end of October, we start to feel the first cool air. And it is heavenly!

So the last couple of nights, my husband and I have taken advantage of the cool evenings and eaten dinner outside on our back patio (after the kids are in bed). The temperatures have been in the low 60's, upper 50's, so we just throw on a sweatshirt and sit outside for a while. I've been amazed at how calming this is. It's quiet, it's peaceful, it's really lovely.

I would encourage you this week to get out of the house. Go eat a meal outside, or sit and read a book with a blanket thrown over you. Enjoy the cool days of autumn. Sitting outside, you won't be able to see the clutter on the counters, the dishes in the sink, the toys strewn about the house. You won't be able to see the clock that's reminding you to hurry, hurry. You'll just be able to relax for a few wonderful minutes.

I realize this is a very simple suggestion, but often those are the easiest to overlook!

For more great ideas, visit Try This Tuesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

Tax Deduction for Medical Expenses

2008-11-03T15:02:00.005-06:00

If you itemize your taxes, you are probably aware that you may deduct the portion of your medical expenses that is greater than 7.5% of your Adjusted Gross Income. Of course, that requires substantial medical expenses to even qualify for that deduction, but I'm sure some of you are in that boat.

We've never taken this deduction. We always take advantage of our Flexible Healthcare Spending Account (which reimburses us for our medical expenses on a pre-tax basis), and we haven't had medical expenses over and above our flexible spending account that exceeded the 7.5% rule.

Until now. As I explained Friday, we'll be paying a lot more for therapy for Jackson next year. Add to that deductibles, the cost of prescription medication, tests and labwork, and office visit copays, and medical expenses will exceed 7.5% of our income in 2009.

If you are in a position to have substantial medical expenses next year, then I'd encourage you to take a look at this IRS document, which outlines exactly which expenses are eligible to be included. I bet you'll find something you weren't aware of.

Like tuition at a private special education school? Yep, it's in there! That was great news to me in case we decide to go that route with Jackson.

If your medical expenses will not total enough to take a deduction, but you do participate in a Healthcare Flexible Spending Account (which I would highly encourage you to do if that is an option), then you may want to read this post that I wrote quite a while back on my other blog (even though I stopped writing that blog, I haven't deleted it yet, so you can still read the post).

Quick Update

2008-11-03T08:05:00.003-06:00

Thanks for your concern about Jackson's appointment on Friday. We learned nothing new on the genetics front, but we did receive good news about Jackson's heart. (As background, Jackson has a significant heart defect. Medically, it's actually considered an aortic aneurysm, though I never use that term because that sounds so scary. The aneurysm isn't a problem unless it ruptures, so he takes medication to prevent his aortic root from further dilation.)

The physicians again reiterated that his heart looks stable. The medication is working! We had a further discussion about surgery, and we are still a very long way from surgery. We're hoping to avoid ever having to do surgery to repair his aorta, as that is a very intense surgery. The doctors did tell us that Jackson will need to be on medication the rest of his life, but as long as the medication works, no major surgery will be needed!

In a couple more years, he will likely need to have a different procedure performed to repair his heart murmur (he has a VSD and a PDA), but they're going to wait until he's 6 or 7 to do that, as they can use a less invasive method when he's a few years older.

And we don't have to go back for 6 months! Which means he doesn't have to have another MRI until April. Yay!

Thanks again for your concern and well wishes. I'll be back this afternoon with my Money Monday post.

I Don't Care For This Math

2008-10-31T10:44:00.003-05:00

We found out last week that my husband's company will be changing insurance providers, effective January 1st. After a few phone calls, I've been relieved to find that all of our doctors take the new insurance. Unfortunately, there is going to be a problem with therapy. A very expensive problem.

The new insurance company only covers 25 therapy sessions per year - total! We currently receive PT and OT each week and are seriously considering adding speech. So, let's say we continue with weekly PT, OT, and add one speech therapy session per week. And we'll assume we'll go 50 of the 52 weeks next year.

Let's do the math: that's 50 x 3 = 150 therapy sessions for the year. 25 of those will be covered by insurance (we'll just pay a small co-pay). That leaves 125 sessions that we will have to pay for ourselves. At the discounted self-pay rate of $100 per therapy session, that means we will have to pay $12,500 next year for 3 hours per week of therapy.

Ouch.

If we add in the cost for his two days of Mothers Day Out each week (about $2,500 per year), we'll be spending $15,000 this coming year on Jackson's therapy and pseudo-preschool.

Which forces me to ask the question, if I'm going to be spending that much money, why wouldn't I seriously consider putting him in a private school for special needs children? Their annual tuition isn't too far from that number, and he would be getting far more instruction and therapy than he's currently getting (these are 5-day per week schools).

This is a big decision that I'll be pondering for the upcoming days and weeks. But one ugly truth remains, no matter which way we go, we're going to be spending A LOT of money starting in just two months. I don't exactly know how that's going to happen or where the money is going to come from. You may start seeing a lot of ads appearing on this blog! : )

Obviously, this is weighing pretty heavily on my mind today, as is the slight anxiety I feel every time we have an appointment with Jackson's cardiovascular-genetics team. We see them this afternoon. I always get my hopes up that perhaps they've uncovered something since we last saw them which will reveal a diagnosis. Of course, I also get a bit worried that we might hear unpleasant news about his heart.

Hopefully we'll have a good appointment and then get to enjoy trick-or-treating tonight. I hope all of you have a wonderful, fun Halloween and a great weekend!

Thank You Mom

2008-10-30T00:20:00.003-05:00

I've been planning to write this particular Thank You Thursday for weeks but haven't found the time to sit down and put the appropriate effort into it. I still don't have the time to put the right amount of effort into it. Because how can you possibly begin to express the depth of your appreciation to someone who has been supporting you since, oh, the day you were born?

My dear mother. She is a saint. Truly she is. I have not encountered another person in my lifetime who is as caring and giving as she is. Always showing such concern for those she loves, I don't think there is anything she wouldn't do for us.

She loves Jesus and that is so evident. Not because she has Christian music blaring in her car (okay, she does) or because she carries around a Bible that is well worn and stuffed with all kind of devotional materials and she won't let you set anything down on top of it (she literally doesn't want anything to be placed above the Word of God). No, her love for Christ is demonstrated in her service to others. She genuinely does place God first, her family second, and herself third. (Actually if you count all of the time and energy she devotes to different ministries at church, she may not even be in third place in her own life!)

She has taken care of our children so John and I could have dates or go on mini-vacations, she's researched schools and therapy options for Jackson, she created a MeMe bag (the kids call her MeMe) with various sensory items for the kids to explore and other items to assist Jackson with his fine motor skills, she's given the kids tons of educational toys and books to encourage learning, and since I'm not the least bit creative, she's created scrapbooks for each of the kids. When she comes in town to visit, she cooks, cleans, irons, changes diapers - she even makes our bed if I don't get around to it (and I never do). I'm not kidding, she is a saint.

Above all, she listens. She hears all of my concerns, disappointments, anxieties, and pity-parties. She realizes how challenging life can be with two young children and she never judges me, never tells me what I should be doing differently. She's not quiet because she thinks I'm doing everything perfectly. She's quiet because she knows I'm doing the best that I can and there's no need to point out every little mistake I make.

I'm an only child. I don't have a sister or brother to talk to. I have a wonderful father, but he's not much of a chit-chatter. John is a good listener, but he doesn't quite have the attention span my mother does. So, my mom gets to listen to me quite often. She is an amazing support to me.

I don't know that I will ever be the mother to my children that my mom has been to me. That's not meant to be self-deprecating. We're just different people. She was an elementary school teacher for over 30 years. I wouldn't have the patience to teach two weeks! She's perhaps a bit more meek, and I more outspoken. She is able to serve others graciously, without grumbling or complaining, and I'm just not that nice (I'm working on it)! So, I may not be an exact replica of my mother, but I hope that the person I am will be the best mom for my kids.

And should anyone ever want to pay me the compliment of "You're just like your mother", well, I will gladly take that compliment.

Mom, for all that you have done for me for 32 years, thank you. You are an amazing woman and such a powerful example to me. I know I'm not a perfect daughter - I don't wrap birthday gifts, I don't do crafty things or art projects (you know I'm counting on you to teach that kind of stuff to my kids, right?), and I'm never on time for anything and haven't been since about the age of 12. Thank you for loving me in spite of my flaws. Thank you for listening to me. And thank you for giving so freely of yourself. I can't imagine what I would do without you. I love you!

**********

Is there someone you'd like to thank? Write about it then come back and leave your link below!

The Ongoing Challenge of the Photograph

2008-10-29T12:29:00.010-05:00

I have not given up on getting a cute picture of my kids together. It will happen eventually (hopefully BEFORE I need to send out Christmas cards). Here are some recent attempts:

Cute one of Hana by herself (Jackson no where in sight)...

Another smiling pic of Hana. Look very carefully and you'll see Jackson running away in the background...

Here's Jackson - always in motion...

Finally sitting still together! But Jackson won't look at the camera...

I'll keep working on it! For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

Taking Matters Into My Own Hands

2008-10-28T09:42:00.004-05:00

You may recall my mentioning some issues with the speech therapy Jackson has been receiving from the public school. (The issue is that the therapy has not in any way been meeting his IEP objectives.) I've now spoken with his therapist, her supervisor, the ARD committee, and the head of special education for our district. I hope that things will improve. But until they do, I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I had the name of the book they were using as their instruction and therapy guide for children with apraxia of speech. So, I found the company that publishes the book and bought a copy myself. It even came with a CD with all of the worksheets and picture cards to use in therapy, so I can print them myself. I am currently reading the book and plan to start doing speech therapy with Jackson this week.

Now, I readily acknowledge I am not a speech pathologist. In college, I majored in finance and quantitative business analysis. I'm not even sure I knew where the speech pathology building was on campus!

But, I can read. And I can learn everything I can about the best approach for treating apraxia of speech. And if his current therapist isn't going to follow the correct approach or even work towards his IEP objectives, well then I'm going to do it myself.

I'm not advocating that we as parents should stop taking our children to therapy or insinuating we can do just as good of a job ourselves. Not at all!! Most therapists are highly trained and are very knowledgeable in their fields and have much experience addressing the issues our children are struggling with. What I am suggesting is this: if you find yourself in a situation where you do not feel your child is receiving the best therapy or instruction or teaching, then don't be afraid to do a little research and start trying different methods with your child yourself.

I am not taking Jackson out of therapy at the school. I'm going to give it some time to see if the situation improves. But, I'm not going to sit idly by while weeks tick away and my son does not receive the intense speech therapy he needs. I love him too much to let that happen.

For other great tips, visit Try This Tuesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

My Preferred Method of Shopping

2008-10-27T00:41:00.001-05:00

We've been making a lot of scenes lately. Jackson's behavior in public has been, shall we say, challenging?

There was the restaurant incident in which Jackson screamed for 20 minutes straight and only calmed down after we let him eat his food standing up next to the table. Of course, he also ran around, jumping up and down in between bites.

And there was Marble Slab. I temporarily lost my mind and thought we could enjoy a nice trip to the ice cream shop. I thought maybe Jackson had grown out of his sensory aversion to cold foods (maybe because I wanted some ice cream)? It began with my noticing a pair of curious blue eyes and very familiar blond curls peeking at me from behind the ice cream counter (he's very adept at running away from me and ending up in parts of stores he's not supposed to be in). It ended with my mom and I scrubbing the floor to get up all of the ice cream that Jackson threw.

Then there was the photography session (I just wanted a picture of my children together!) at Janie and Jack. Jackson ran around the store pulling clothes off the hangers, ran behind the cash register, and laid on the floor kicking and screaming. I forced him into the double stroller and he wouldn't stop hitting his sister. We left the Galleria with both of them crying hysterically. I made it to the parking garage before crying.

And there was the pediatrician visit last week in which he ran out of the room and had to be chased down by a nurse - twice. And the Kroger visit I alluded to. And the list goes on and on.

I give you all of this background information to help you understand why I am such a fan of online shopping! I will be doing virtually all of my Christmas shopping online this year. (Can you imagine Jackson in a crowded mall at Christmas time? Yikes!)

So, I wanted to share with you my favorite tips for saving money when shopping online...

Earn cash back! There are several ways to earn cash back on most of your online purchases. My favorite two? Start your shopping with Upromise.com. Just click though to your favorite retailer and you'll earn a little cash back for your child's college fund. Not looking to save for college? Then try shopping with Big Crumbs. Just start your shopping from the Big Crumbs website and click through to the desired merchant. You'll earn a percentage of cash back from each purchase that will be deposited into your PayPal account.

Look for coupon codes. There are several sites that list online coupon codes. Both Upromise and Big Crumbs that I just mentioned will list these. Other sites to check: RetailMeNot.com and Coupon Cabin.

Sign up to receive emails from your favorite merchants. They will often email you with special offers and discounts to use online.

Take advantage of free shipping offers. Sites often offer free shipping with some minimum purchase amount. Just make sure you're not buying items you don't need just to get the free shipping. (Yes, I'm guilty of that.)

I will say one of the best deals I took advantage of a couple of months ago was a free 30-day trial to Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime gives you free 2-day shipping with no minimum purchase (not even the typical $25 required by Amazon). It's really easy to sign up for the free trial, and if you don't want to continue with a paid membership, simply select "do not upgrade automatically" right after you sign up. This would be a great trial to take advantage of for the holidays if you're needing to ship gifts to several people!

Hope you found these tips helpful and please share any other online shopping tips you have (or any tips for getting your children to behave appropriately in public, as one of these days I might have to step foot back inside a brick and mortar store)!

Public Service Announcement

2008-10-24T10:06:00.002-05:00

You're familiar with the Great American Cookies company, right? They have the most wonderfully yummy cookies, and a huge variety to choose from. All of their cookies are good. But the best, the most indulgent, is the Double Doozie - a huge mound of white icing sandwiched in between two moist delicious cookies. This treat can be yours if you travel to the mall and pay the $4 or about that much to get one.

OR...

You can get one of these from Kroger! Well, it's not from the Great American Cookies company, but it's the same concept. Two large chocolate cookies with a nice thick layer of icing in between. You can even get it iced on top, too. And the cost? $1.00. That's $1.00, folks, for this heavenly treat that's big enough to split. Simply ask at the bakery counter and they'll make you one just the way you like.

I felt I had an obligation to share this information with you. Because you may just find yourself at the grocery store with two young kids who are fighting over the little steering wheels in the cart, pushing each other out of the cart, screaming loud enough to disturb every other patron in the store, pulling items off the shelves, and repeatedly taking their pants off just because it seems like a funny thing to do. I'm just saying, it could happen. And if you survive such an experience without injuring either child or yelling obscenities, then you deserve a reward. Perhaps a Double Doozie look-a-like with extra icing.

Sorry to those of you who don't have a Kroger in your area. Maybe your grocer has a similar deal?

Have a great weekend!

Thank You to Those Who Stick With Us

2008-10-23T00:32:00.003-05:00

I went Wednesday to visit a private school for special needs children. It was an incredible school (you can see it here). I'm not sure it's the perfect place for Jackson, but I'm still very glad I went.

I met another mother who was touring at the same time. She reminded me of myself three years ago. She has a 6 month old son. She found out one month ago that he has a serious genetic syndrome which will profoundly affect him the rest of his life. The fact that she was still reeling from this information was evident. My heart was broken for her.

I remember that feeling. If you have a special needs child, you probably know that feeling, too. You remember the moment when your hopes and dreams for your child suddenly were turned upside down. That overwhelming sense of bewilderment, grief, anxiety, and fear all mixed together.

As I was reflecting on this today, I began to think about the people in my life who have been there with us since the beginning of our journey into this new world. Our family, the doctors, the therapists. And I thought about a particular group of friends that we have.

For a five year interval including a couple of years before we had Jackson and then another couple of years after having him, we were part of a small group bible study. This group of five couples met every Wednesday night for five years. We became very close and shared our struggles, concerns, and joys.

These friends prayed for us when we couldn't get pregnant, then rejoiced with us when we conceived Jackson. After an especially rough delivery, they delivered meals to us for weeks. They have prayed with us over all of Jackson's appointments, tests, and challenges. And they have listened (oh, have they listened!) as we've shared our fears and concerns regarding our children.

None of these couples have a child with special needs. I know they can't always understand or relate to exactly what we're going through, yet they have always been supportive and sympathetic, never critical or judgmental. They have shown such love for us and for our children.

Within the past year and a half, one couple moved away because of a job relocation and another moved away to attend seminary. It became obvious that our time as a small group had come to a close. I miss our weekly meetings but am so glad that we remain close friends.

So, this week I want to say thank you to my dear, dear friends from our small group. Jenny, Karen, Melanie, and Jennifer - I so genuinely treasure your friendship. Thank you for the countless hours you've listened to me. I'm not sure how you don't grow weary of hearing about all of my issues (okay maybe you do grow weary, but you hide it so well!) Thank you for trying to help me find solutions that work for my family. And thank you for seeing our Jackson for the wonderful, precious child that he is! I love you all!

**********

Is there someone you'd like to thank? Write about it then come back and leave your link below!

A Look Back at Halloween

2008-10-22T12:36:00.009-05:00

My little monkey in 2005:

My sweet Hershey's Kiss in 2006:

And my cowboy and baby chick in 2007:

I can't wait to dress them up again next week!

For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

Feeling the Weight of Stress

2008-10-21T16:28:00.004-05:00

I didn't get around to a Try This Tuesday post today. I've been under A LOT of stress lately, and it seems I stay very busy and yet get very little accomplished. Can you relate to that?

I haven't gone into a lot of detail about the school issues that I've mentioned we've been having. One, because I didn't want to bore you with details and two, because I don't know exactly who's reading this and I just wanted to be careful.

In a nutshell, I have serious concerns that Jackson's IEP objectives are not being addressed by the public school. We had an ARD to discuss this last week. It was not pleasant. I placed a call to the Director of Special Education for the district last Wednesday; she has not returned my call. I am quickly losing my ability to trust those in charge at our local public school.

Which again forces me to confront the question of, "Is this the right place for my children?" I have other options for Hana, but not so many for Jackson. Throw onto this the more pressing question of preschool next year (not happy with the public school PPCD option, but other preschools won't take Jackson) and you've got a glimpse into what has been consuming my time and energy lately.

I am going tomorrow to visit a private school for children with special needs. It is not nearby, it is outrageously expensive, and there is a waiting list to get in. But this is how desperate I feel right now! I am going to visit just so I'll know what else is out there, so I'll FEEL like I have another option (even if it isn't incredibly realistic).

To those of you who have children in special education in the public school, my hats off to you! I've spent just a few weeks trying to battle over a couple of issues and it has been so stressful. I find it very uncomfortable to have to sit in a room full of people basically arguing and repudiating the supervisor running the meeting. It gives me little comfort to know that I am well within my rights, and I don't get many appreciative looks when I inform these people what I know my rights to be. And most of all, after going through such an uncomfortable process, I have very little confidence that my concerns will even be appropriately addressed.

Hopefully either the situation will improve soon or my attitude will. And I promise to try to give this blog some proper attention!

Money Monday: Freebies

2008-10-20T12:55:00.002-05:00

I like getting stuff for free. Who doesn't, right? I've gotten countless items free by taking advantage of free samples, rebates, coupons, store policies, and combinations of the above. In fact, every week it seems I get at least one or two items free. So, from time to time (in my Money Monday posts) I thought I would bring you ideas on how you can take advantage of these free offers for yourself.

The first, and most obvious, freebie I'll mention today is free samples. Wait! Hold on, before you close this post, just keep reading. I know what you're thinking - requesting free samples is not worth my time. You have to fill out some long form, and then you wait for months and finally get a little bitty sample.

That used to be my attitude. Then I discovered that many free samples now are actually a decent size. And the forms don't take so long to fill out (I use Google AutoFill so the forms are a breeze). And many of these free samples are for products I use all the time, or want to try without having to spend the money to see if I like it or not.

Go see for yourself:
- Visit Walmart.com where currently you can request free samples of Playtex, Always, and Stayfree feminine care products, Folgers coffee, Garnier Nutrioniste Deep Wrinkle Treatment (any of you have enough stress in your life to have to worry about wrinkles??), and more. The Walmart free samples change frequently, so this is a site you'll want to bookmark and visit often.
- Costco.com also has free samples on occasion (and you don't have to be a Costco member to request these). Currently, you'll find samples of Kotex pantiliners and Poise pads.
- Have a pet? Get a free Greenies product for your dog or cat here.
- Visit the Playtex Sport site to request your sample pack of Playtex Sport tampons.
- Click here to get a sample of Seattle's Best Coffee, then go here to get some flavored Splenda to sweeten it with.
- Need some help cleaning up messes in your home? Click here to get a free mini Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

By the way, the best blog I've found devoted to freebies is Freebies 4 Mom. Heather does a great job keeping you abreast of all of the free samples out there.

In the coming weeks, I'll be talking more about the ways I am able to get items free (and how you can, too)!

Again, if you have questions regarding anything related to financial matters, please leave me a comment or send me an email and I'll try to address it in a future Money Monday post.

Tell Your Story or Share a Picture

2008-10-17T10:38:00.005-05:00

I wanted to pass along two items that are worth your time if your child fits into these categories...

It's My Heart is collecting stories of children affected by congenital heart defects:

Calling all Heart Stories! We need your stories accompanied by a family picture or individual picture of the person(s) with CHD. These stories will be shared with our government officials and used for many other important initiatives which will help carry out the mission of IMH, which is to advocate for each and every one of you.

Stories need to be font size 12 in Times New Roman and one to two pages long. Please highlight experiences that have been challenging for your family and how this will affect them for the rest of his/her life. Many do not understand the seriousness or lifelong affect CHD has and the financial devastation it creates on everyone involved. It is also important to include any other medical issues if there are.

There are three ways to send your stories:
1. Email to heartstories@itsmyheart.org
2. Fax to (866) 222.0334
3. Mail to: It's My Heart
19728 Saums Rd.
PMB #137
Houston, TX 77084

And if you have a child with an autism spectrum disorder, you have to check out the Faces of Autism blog that Casdok created. What a beautiful look at the many children affected by autism! It looks pretty easy to have a picture of your child added, too!

Have a great weekend!

Thank You KDO

2008-10-16T00:14:00.003-05:00

Kids Day Out, that is. The name of the Mothers Day Out program that both of my children attend.

Jackson was a little over a year old when I started trying to find a Mothers Day Out program that would accept him. I knew it would be a challenge. He wasn't walking, wasn't talking, couldn't feed himself, and couldn't even hold his own cup. Being very new to this special needs world, I got my feelings hurt by the first couple of places who said they wouldn't accept him and just about gave up.

But I really needed a break, and I knew he needed to learn to socialize with other children. I placed one more call to First Presbyterian (our church at the time) and left a message asking if there was any way they would consider allowing Jackson into their program.

Within a couple of hours Ms. Stephanie called back and said (and this is a direct quote), "We would love to have Jackson in our program." I probably started crying right there on the phone.

This is Jackson's 3rd year and Hana's 2nd year at KDO, and I'm still amazed at what a wonderful program this has been for us. Between the two kids, we've now had 8 teachers. Every single one of them has been incredibly friendly, kind, flexible, and accommodating. We've never had one problem in the entire time we've been there.

I truly cannot thank these ladies enough. They have all bent over backwards trying to help Jackson learn and find just the right place for him. He has been encouraged to try things on his own and to do the same activities as all of the other children, yet the teachers are always there to lend a helping hand when needed. And they're always thinking ahead about ways they can accommodate Jackson.

My little Hana is thriving in the program, too. She's still a bit shy and doesn't say much in class, but she's learning! Today as I was listening to her babble in the back seat, I heard her say "one to ten, "one to ten", and then she proceeded to count 1, 2, 3. She got all the way to 8! I didn't even know she could count to 2!

And that's what I love about this program. There really is something in it for every child. Each child is respected and treated as an individual with an individual learning style. Pretty impressive for a Mothers Day Out program!!

So, thank you to all of the teachers and program administrators who have made our experience in KDO such a wonderful one. You have blessed us more than you'll ever know!

**********

Is there someone you'd like to thank? Write about it then come back and leave your link below!

Jackson and Buddy

2008-10-15T00:34:00.006-05:00

Buddy is the most beloved stuffed animal in our house. Last week, Jackson got the special treat of getting to take Buddy to school. They were doing a unit on learning articles of clothing, so the homework was to dress up their favorite stuffed animal and bring it to class. Check out how cute Buddy (and Jackson) looked...

I kid you not, the day Jackson got to take Buddy to school was the first day Jackson didn't cry when I dropped him off. His teacher also said he did much better in class that day (said more words) than he normally does. Too bad Buddy can't go with him every day!

For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

A Daily Reminder For You

2008-10-14T08:42:00.004-05:00

In Jackson's room, above his bed, white letters stand out against his blue walls proclaiming:

"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." Matthew 3:17

Having this verse on his wall is a daily reminder to me of several important points:

1) I need to be pleased with Jackson because of WHO HE IS. Not because of how well he behaves or how much progress he makes in therapy. And of course the opposite is true. I should not be displeased with Jackson when he doesn't behave appropriately, but rather with his behavior.

The context of this verse is Jesus' baptism. After He was baptised, a voice from heaven spoke these words above. God didn't say, "Because He's performed many miracles, I am well pleased." or "Because He is perfect, I am well pleased." Both would be true statements (Jesus later went on to perform many miracles), but those are not what God was saying. He was simply saying I am pleased with my Son because of who He is.

2) This is how God views my son. God created Jackson. He knows Jackson even better than I do. He knows the issues that are affecting Jackson that have the doctors baffled. And He is well pleased with his creation! Again, He may not always be pleased with Jackson's behavior or his decisions, but He loves him. And he doesn't view Jackson and see he's different in this or that aspect, or he doesn't do this quite right, He sees Jackson and says "This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

3) This is how God views me. God created me and loves me. He sees my sins, to be sure. He sees all of the mistakes I make, all of the times I quickly grow impatient with Jackson, how often I get angry with my children, and He loves me anyway. Even on the days when I feel like an absolute failure, God is still smiling down on His creation and saying, "This is my daughter, whom I love; with her I am well pleased."

So, why have I written this post under the context of a Try This Tuesday post? Because I think having a verse of scripture, inspirational quote, or other favorite saying displayed can help you as a parent get through the day. I've talked about many suggestions for our children, but this one is for you. Because I know there are times when you need a little inspiration and a little motivation to keep you moving.

On a practical note, I bought the letters for the wall from WiseDecor. You can just tell them what you'd like your wall art to say, choose the size, font, and color, and they ship to you the adhesive words. It's so easy (I am not at all artistic), and they looked they've been stenciled on to your wall!

Money Monday: Do Not Panic

2008-10-13T08:25:00.005-05:00

I repeat, Do Not Panic.

You may have received your September brokerage or retirement account statement this past week. It was ugly. You may have checked your balance online as of last Friday - it was terrifying.

But you've heard folks far smarter than me saying, "Do not panic. This is not the time to sell all of your stocks."

We have plenty of historical evidence to remind us that over longer periods of time, stocks always increase in value. But they never follow a straight line. No, they bounce around all over the place and give many of us motion sickness. Think back to just 5 years ago. The market had been declining for 3 years straight. The technology bubble burst, then we faced the horrific events of 9/11, which was then followed by corporate scandals that brought down Enron, Arthur Anderson, WorldCom, and others. I just pulled up a historical chart of the Dow which showed me that in February of 2003 the DJIA was around 7,800. In October of last year (2007) the DJIA hit a high of 14,164. That's how much the market can move in just 5 years.

And of course, we've seen how much it can move in just one year. The DJIA closed Friday at a staggering 8,451.

Okay, so you shouldn't panic. You shouldn't sell all of your stocks. So, what should you do? Here are a few tips I'd like to offer you:

1) Take advantage of dollar cost averaging by committing to systematic contributions to a retirement or brokerage account. If you're contributing to a 401(k), you're already doing this. Dollar cost averaging simply refers to using a set amount of money to buy more shares when the price is low and less shares when the price is high.

Example: You buy $100 worth of ABC stock at $10/share. Later you buy $100 worth of ABC stock at $20/share. So is your average cost per share $15? No. Because you purchased 10 shares at $10 and only 5 shares at $20, your average cost is $13.33.

If you already have systematic contributions established, this may be a good time to increase the amount you're contributing.

2) Buy some stocks while they're on sale, but be selective. There are a lot of tempting buys out there, but you need to be careful. We've seen some absolute corporate giants get wiped out in recent weeks. Your best bet? A mutual fund or ETF, which invests in many different companies.

3) Don't buy stocks for their dividend. I learned this one the hard way. With prices so low, you can easily find dazzling dividend yields out there. But facing difficult economic conditions, companies are more likely to reduce or eliminate their dividends. Again, your best bet is to buy a mutual fund or ETF with a high yield.

4) Make sure you're earning as much as you can on your cash. Ah, good old cash. At least you haven't lost any money there! But are you making as much as you could be? Savings and money market rates are extremely low right now. Make sure you shop around for the best rates and familiarize yourself with any minimum balances you need to maintain to get those rates. Any money you don't need right away, stick into CD's. Even a short term CD will likely pay you higher than a typical savings account will.

There are other tips I could list, but I think this post is already long enough! Please leave a comment or send me an email if you have any questions!

One other item I have to include in this Money Monday post...
If you have a child who takes Carnation Instant Breakfast or Pediasure for extra calories, here's a great Target deal for you. Buy 2 boxes Carnation Instant Breakfast at $3.98 each. Use this $3/2 Target coupon and 2 of this $2 Carnation coupon to get both boxes for $0.96! Yes, you can use a Target coupon and a manufacturer's coupon for the same item. And why did I mention Pediasure? Because I have been told by doctors and dietitians that they are nutritionally equivalent. So, if you're shelling out big bucks for Pediasure, ask your doctor if you can switch to Carnation Instant Breakfast.

Schedule

2008-10-12T15:30:00.002-05:00

Sorry I have been so sporadic in posting lately. I really hope this week to get back on a regular posting schedule that looks something like this:

Monday: Money Monday
Tuesday: Try this Tuesday
Wednesday: Special Exposure Wednesday
Thursday: Thank You Thursday
Friday: Other

There will, of course, be deviations from this and additions to this, but that is the plan.

I've been a little overwhelmed with the school issues I mentioned last week. I should have clarified something. The Chats class with Ms. Stuart that I wrote my Thank You Thursday post about does not take place at our neighborhood school that we're zoned to. It's not offered at that school, so we take him to a different school where it is offered.

The problems I have been having (which actually escalated late last week) are occurring at our neighborhood school. This is where Jackson is supposed to be receiving twice weekly speech therapy (which he does, when the therapist shows up). This is also the school that is in charge of his IEP. I'm still trying to make some decisions as to how to proceed following the events of last week, so I'm sorry that's had me so preoccupied. I appreciate your patience and I hope to be back to my regular blogging self this week!

This Video Will Not Be Available Through Blockbuster

2008-10-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Jackson is in a special speech program called "Chats" within our school district which is taught by a very dedicated speech pathologist. Ms. Stuart really takes an interest in each of her students and tries to find the best way to help each of them learn.

This week, she voluntarily took on another task to help, well, me!

Since the day we brought Jackson home three and a half years ago, he has not enjoyed having his diaper changed. As he has gotten older and is still nowhere near being potty trained (that's another post for another day), his demonstrations of his dislike for diaper changes have become much more aggressive. I get kicked almost every day - sometimes only in the arm, other times in the eyes, nose, or mouth (which really hurts and I find it hard to keep my cool when he does this).

Last week, as I picked Jackson up, Ms. Stuart mentioned he'd just had another dirty diaper and she hadn't gotten a chance to change it. So, I came inside to change him. He cried and screamed and kicked me, and of course, I was not surprised. But Ms Stuart was. She said he never does that for her!

The next time he was there, she went to change his diaper and as luck would have it, Jackson's very first OT from ECI (who now works for the school district) happened to be in the room. Upon noticing what was occurring, she incredulously asked, "Is that Jackson??" She told Ms. Stuart how she couldn't believe he was being so calm and still for his diaper change. That was so unlike Jackson! So that gave Ms. Stuart an idea.

Tuesday, when I went to pick Jackson up, Ms. Stuart said, "I have something to show you." Then together we watched a video that she had her aide take of her changing Jackson's diaper. He was laying there calmly with his hands folded behind his head, not screaming, and not kicking! She explained that now that we know he is capable of behaving calmly during a diaper change, I need to start expecting and demanding that at home. She's going to give me the video so we can watch it at home and talk about his nice behavior, and give me a still picture to post above his changing table so I can use that to remind him of the behavior I expect.

I really hope this works. Anything that can help me avoid another fat lip or bruised arm would be nice!

So, Ms. Stuart, I want to thank you. I have encountered very few people in the public education system thus far who really go out of their way to try to help students and their families. But you do. You are an incredible teacher. Thank you for caring and for your dedication to your students!

**********

Is there someone you'd like to thank? Write about it then come back and leave your link below!

School Question

2008-10-07T10:17:00.000-05:00

I'm having some concerns about our public school and for the first time, I'm seriously questioning if that's the right place for my children. There are some fabulous private schools for special needs children in Houston, but they are extremely expensive and would be quite a drive for us. I found another private school much closer by (and for much less money) which might work for Hana, but I doubt they would accept Jackson.

I'd love to hear from you. What type of school do your children attend? Please take my little poll to the right. Also, I'd love for you to leave a comment with what has worked for you and maybe why you made the school choice that you did. And if your children attend two (or more) different schools, how do you work out the logistics of that?

Just to clarify, my kids are still several years away from starting school, but I'm trying to figure out preschool options for next year which started this whole line of anxiety. Do I really need to be worrying about this already? Probably not. But I am. So, thanks for your input!

Good News for my Local Readers

2008-10-07T10:04:00.002-05:00

Friends in the Houston area - I just found out that Blue Cross HAS worked out an agreement with Texas Children's Pediatric Associates and they WILL continue to accept Blue Cross. That's great news for the 41,000 families affected!

Dont forget to eat at Fish City Grill today to support Mom to Mom!

Money Monday

2008-10-06T13:04:00.004-05:00

Since I've been having a difficult time juggling so many balls lately, I have made the decision to discontinue the other blog I write. Since (pre-children) I was a financial advisor, I have a passion for being able to share money saving ideas, deals and discounts, and investment tips with other families. But, for now, I need to cut something out to make room for other priorities in my life.

As I thought about this more last night, however, it occurred to me that money-related matters were probably VERY important to many families with special needs. Many of you face tremendous medical bills, therapy-related expenses, adaptive equipment expenses, and/or expensive prescription drugs or special dietary requirements. And having too many expenses in one area often creates a shortage of money available in other areas. Perhaps others of you aren't currently overwhelmed with expenses, but you're concerned about saving for your child's future.

So, I've decided to replicate just a dash from My Two Cents over here. Each Monday will be Money Monday! I'll share a deal or bargain I've come across, an investment tip, an idea about saving or budgeting, or answer any finance related questions you have. These will not be specific to special needs families (so any My Two Cents readers, you are welcome to stop by over here on Mondays)! But I may occasionally focus on a topic (special needs trusts, for instance), that would appeal mainly to the special needs audience.

I'm sure many of you have become (out of choice or necessity) very effective at managing money, living on a tight budget, and/or negotiating with insurance companies or medical offices. So, I hope you'll plan to join me on Mondays and leave comments and share with us ideas and tips that you have! And if you have any questions regarding anything in the realm of finance, please feel free to leave me a question here or send me an email and I'll do my best to address it in a future post.

P.S. You'll probably also start to notice a few changes to the blog here as I have a little more time to focus on just one blog, not two. One of the first changes: I've started to update my blogroll! Be sure and visit these great blogs written by parents of special needs children or professionals who work with special needs children.

Heart Research Project

2008-10-03T18:09:00.002-05:00

I wanted to pass this along in case any of your children qualify for this project...

Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome is one of the most severe heart defects and also one of the most difficult to treat. We know very little about what causes HLHS but there do seem to be important genetic factors. Doctors at Texas Children's Hospital are leading a genetic study of HLHS. The study will look at all of the genetic material in each small blood sample for genetic changes that might cause these heart defects. The study uses new "gene chip" technology that is being used with great success for many common diseases.

The doctors need your help. If you or your child is has a coarctation of the aorta, aortic valve stenosis, or hypoplastic left heart you are invited to join this study. The researchers need one tube of blood (about 1 to 1 1/2 tsp) from affected children and their parents. There is no cost to take part in this study.

Please call 832-822-4182 for more information. This study is funded by the National Institutes of Health and has been approved by Baylor College of Medicine.

How I Love My Dear Readers

2008-10-01T23:11:00.002-05:00

This week I need to say thank you to you. Yes, you. You my reader, my friend, who is reading this right now.

I started this blog because I was searching for answers (and I had a hunch that other special needs families were, too). Not medical information that I could find by doing research. Not general parenting advice that I could read in any of the many parenting books on my shelf. But real answers about real issues from real people whose lives were touched by a special needs child. And you have so come through for me!

Week after week I post about issues we're facing or questions I have, and you respond. Through comments, emails, and posts on your own blogs, you help provide me with answers that no book or medical professional can provide. You relate to many of our struggles and you experience many of the same emotions that we face. And you always cheer us along when I share one of our accomplishments.

So, I wanted to take this brief post to say thank you. I am so touched every time you take a minute out of your busy day to write a comment, or send me an email, or say a prayer for us. Please know how much I truly appreciate you and am encouraged by you.

I apologize that life has kept me very busy recently and I haven't been able to post as much or visit your blogs as much. Hopefully that will change soon! And as soon as I'm able, I'm going to be adding some wonderful blogs to my blogroll. (If you are reading this and you have a blog, I'm probably talking about yours!) I haven't updated that in quite a while and that's the least I can do to say thank you to those of you who have your own blogs.

So, thanks for reading, thanks for your support, and I hope that somehow this blog has helped you along the way, too!

**********

Is there someone you'd like to thank? Write about it then come back and leave your link below!

What did she say??

2008-09-29T21:44:00.004-05:00

I've written quite a bit on this blog about Jackson's speech issues and the development of his speech. Well, he's not the only child I have learning to talk in my house. My little Hana who will be 2 in December is quite the talker. In fact, that's how Jackson learns many of his words.

But as with any toddler learning to talk, her words don't always come out exactly like they should. Three in particular are especially noteworthy. First, the commonly said, "yes" comes out of Hana's mouth as "ass". With enthusiasm, she emphatically says "Ass!" every time she answers you in the affirmative. I'm always a little embarrassed in public when she says that.

The other two words both have the same not-quite-correct pronunciation. I'll tell you the words, I will not tell you the pronunciation. You'll understand. The two words are "fork" and "truck". They are both pronounced in the same unfortunate manner. Last week, as we arrived at church for me to take the kids into Mothers Day Out, we parked next to a truck. Hana immediately starts loudly announcing "Truck, "Truck" (of course, replace that "tr" with an "f"). You should have heard me trying desperately to change the subject!!

Do your children have funny mispronunciations? I'd love to hear them!

For My Local Readers

2008-09-27T13:40:00.005-05:00

Mom to Mom is the special needs support organization that hosts the special needs playgroup that Jackson attends. Their amazingly fabulous director, Tracy, sent me this information that I wanted to share...

Fish City Grill (in the new Pearland Town Center) has chosen Mom to Mom to be their guest charity on the first Tuesday in October (October 7th). 15% of the days revenues will be given to our organization! Yea! So please support our organization and go EAT! (anytime on that day) and tell your friends too! All money raised will go to funding more playgroup "field trips" and to our support of moms of special needs babies at Texas Children's, Clearlake Regional and Park Plaza Hospitals through our brochures, parent to parent support, and our welcome baby gifts.

So mark this on your calendars and I'll see you October 7th!

My Version of a Dear John Letter

2008-09-25T00:01:00.002-05:00

This week I want to thank a man who deserves so much credit and so much recognition, but I'm ashamed to say, doesn't get a whole lot of either from me most of the time: my dear hubby.

Those of you who have been in my home and watched John and I together know that we don't often fall into the stereotyped gender roles. John is very neat, meticulous, and orderly, and I'm a bit more laid-back. So how does that play out?

John does dishes, most of the laundry, irons, and often vacuums or does other cleaning as needed (we have a housekeeper so, thankfully, there's not too much to do). He also does the lawn himself and washes our cars frequently. So, what do I do? I just sit here on the computer! Just kidding. I cook, I do all the shopping (John hates any and all types of shopping), I pay bills and manage our investments, I handle anything technical (computer, video camera, even programming the thermostat on the air conditioning - John's not interested in learning how to work that stuff), and I stay on top of everything related to the kids (therapy, school, insurance issues, etc.). And of course, I help with the household duties just mentioned, but he does the lion's share of it! He's been out of town the last couple of days, and I sure have noticed he was gone!

Aside from all the help around the house he provides, he also loves our children. He plays with them and takes them places and gives them lots of hugs and kisses. When they get hurt, their cry is usually "Daddy! Daddy!" and he comforts them in his arms.

With the sad and sobering statistics that tell us 90% of marriages in which there is a special needs child end in divorce, I am so thankful for my dear husband. He is committed to me and he is committed to our children. Our marriage isn't perfect, and we have our struggles just like every other couple out there. But at the end of the day, we're a team and we plan to keep it that way.

Dear John, I love you, I treasure you, and I thank you for all that you do to provide for and serve our family. You rock.

**********

Is there someone you'd like to thank? Write about it then come back and leave your link below!

Are You Familiar With This Expression?

2008-09-24T00:09:00.001-05:00

Do you ever get the impression that your children are looking at you like you're crazy?

I recently tried suggesting to my children that maybe we should go inside (because it was 96 degrees outside with humidity pushing the heat index to 105 and Mommy was absolutely melting), and this is the look I got...

We stayed outside a little longer.

For more great photos, visit Special Exposure Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

Come Visit Me!

2008-09-23T00:18:00.005-05:00

You'll find me over at 5 Minutes for Special Needs today with my Try This Tuesday post. If you've ever witnessed your child struggling with the motor planning required to complete a task or pronounce a word, then you'll want to check out our experience with using physical cues!

Fish Oil Supplements

2008-09-22T14:42:00.005-05:00

Do any of you give your special needs children fish oil supplements? I'd love to hear from you if you do! Which product are you using? Why are you you using it? What results have you seen from it?

We give Jackson a 1/2 teaspoon dose of Nordic Naturals Children's DHA every day. Why? Because I've read in several places (most notably in The Late Talker: What to Do If Your Child Isn't Talking Yet) that many parents of children with apraxia, ADD, autism, and other related diagnoses have seen significant results in speech and behavior from fish oil supplementation.

I really can't tell you if we've seen significant results from it or not. I can say that Jackson's speech has improved tremendously in the past six months. Whether that's from the fish oil (which we had given him sporadically for about a year, but just started giving to him daily about 6 months ago), or Hana talking more, or different therapy methods, or something else entirely, I simply do not know.

I have been reading about a new fish oil supplement that has recently come out: PharmaOmega Speak. I'm intrigued, but it is quite expensive. (Evidently there was a focus group they were doing in which you would get a free 3-month supply, but that's full.) By chance, have any of you heard of or tried this product?

As always, thanks in advance for any input!

More Good News

2008-09-19T08:28:00.000-05:00

In the craziness of the past week, I totally forgot to share some really good news with you. You may recall that we had an appointment scheduled with the cardiovascular genetics group last Friday in which we would learn the results of Jackson's cardiac MRI. When I called to cancel the appointment, they told me that the first day it could be rescheduled was October 31st. I was not going to wait that long to get the results!

So, I scheduled the appointment for that day, but then requested that a doctor call me with the test results. Fortunately, he did call me that day on my cell phone and told me that everything was stable. There have been no changes since his last echo, which means his aorta has not dilated any further. That's good news! So, for now, all is stable with his heart and there are no changes to his medication. We'll find out more in October, but I wanted to go ahead and share this good news with you. Thank you for your concern!

If you visited earlier and only saw a portion of this post, I was not trying to tease you! I've mentioned before how I'll write a couple of sentences of a blog post, then have to walk away to go take care of something with the kids. I walked away this morning and when I came back, 21-month old Hana had taken over the computer. She posted my incomplete blog post, opened all sorts of new windows and programs, and did something to significantly change the way my computer looks. We sure have fun around here!